Lovey love love: Part Two

If you missed yesterday's post, I'm reposting the story of how a ridiculously young Josh and a absurdly young Kyla found love on the Internet...so go back and check out the first one before reading this one!

Or Maybe More ;)

We decided to meet over Christmas break one day that year, at the mall, because his mom was already going there for an ophthalmologist appointment, and my friends and I were bored and thirteen year olds LOVE the mall. We were still on the phone and hadn't yet decided on a place and time to meet, when someone called in on our other line. I switched over and it happened to be a coworker of my dad's in Alaska (my dad worked in Alaska)...so Josh and I had to hang up. We never got around to setting up a time or place in the mall to meet, but my friends and I went anyway, because we were thirteen and OMG! THE MALL!

As soon as we arrived, my friends started in with the endless refrains of:
"Is that him?"
"Ooooooh, is THAT him over there?"
"What about him?!?"
To which I replied,
"I have no idea, I've never seen a picture of him before." (these were the Internet wilderness days...there was no Flickr)


We shopped for a while, and then I started to get hungry, so we headed to the food court. As we entered, a guy passed me with two slices of pizza.
Me: "That's him."
Friends: "Shut up...how do YOU know, you've never seen his picture! Plus that guy didn't even say anything! And Josh has blonde hair...that guy doesn't."
Me: "Whatever, that's HIM. Go ask him...I'm going to get Arby's."

35 seconds later, my friends are back.
Friends: "OMG! Its HIM! We said 'Do you know a Kyla?' and he said 'Yes.' IT'S HIM!"

I grabbed my Arby's melt with Cheddar and my curly fries and went over to his table. We said "Hi." and not much else while my friends intently stared at us. After eating, we ditched my friends and walked around the mall together.

Don't ask me how I knew it was him, because I can't tell you. He didn't say a word as he passed me. I don't even think our eyes met. He was just some guy (without blonde hair, the liar!) walking past me with pizza...and I knew that he was Josh. spacemanZERO. I just knew. It is the single strangest thing that has ever happened in my life. I will never forget that day, what he was wearing, seeing his smile for the first time, or that feeling of knowing who he was before I had any reason to know who he was.


And so ends the meeting portion of our saga, join us tomorrow for the next installment....you know you can't wait to find out what this:



has to do with anything.

Lovey love love: Part One

Because I'm on vacation (WITHOUT INTERNET, oh the torture) for a few days, I decided to set up a few automatically posted reposts for while I'm away. I've never reposted anything before, not even as filler, so this is a first. Back when I first posted the story of wee Josh and wee Kyla and how they fell in love over these here Internets, many of you were not reading yet, so I hope you enjoy!

Friend Seeking Friend

When I was in the eighth grade, we got The Internet. I'm totally dating myself here guys, now you all know I am a baby. I'm sure not many of you had The Internet in the eighth grade. It was so exciting! I could pretend to be sixteen! Every thirteen year old really wants to be sixteen, because they are so MATURE! And respected! I spent the first 3 years of my Internet life as a 16 year old. Luckily, no one seemed to notice. But really, that is neither here nor there. In the midst of pretending to be my brand new mature, respected, sixteen year old self...my friends and I began chatting it up with real live people we didn't know. BOY people. I should mention here I had a 3D boyfriend, but he was only thirteen. When you are Internet-sixteen, real live-thirteen is quite a drag. So Friday nights, my best friend came over and we pretended to be super cool sixteen year olds who flirt with boys online. We had a blast. Of course, Saturday we still rode bikes around the neighorhood, but Friday nights? We were adults.

We heard about a website for our local radio station, called...(wait for it)...CyberLove. It was set up like a mail station, you set up a mailbox with a profile, and people could search and exchange messages. Because I had a boyfriend (stupid thirteen year old boyfriend), I was honest (ha!) and put my box in the "Friend seeking Friend" section. I think I put that I was fifteen, because this was local, and what if I met someone? Lying that you are three years older is TOO much, but lying about two years could just be a mathematical error, I guess. I think my SN was a character from a Christopher Pike novel, I didn't even know how to pronounce it, I just liked the character.

I found a boy, who was also "fifteen", and I emailed him. I have no idea what I said, but he replied. His name was spacemanZERO. He lived in a neaby suburb. He loved the Smashing Pumpkins and computer games. He was nice. We exchanged a few messages before we divulved we both had significant (I use the word loosely) others. His girlfriend was long distance, he was introduced through a mutual friend and they had met only one time. My boyfriend, well, he used to burp and blow it in my face at the lunch table. We continued to exchange emails, because we were "Friends Seeking Friends" (there isn't anything wrong with that!) and we both knew about the other's other.

Then SHE broke up with him! "OMG, Josh, how COULD she?!? I'm so sorry.(not!)" And inexplicably, the burping in my face became too much to handle...and I dumped Burpy. We were FREE...we could have, say, moved our profiles to the "Seeking Hetero Relationship" section, if we wanted. Instead, we started calling each other on the phone. We talked every day. After a few weeks of the phone business, we decided to meet.



***********************************************************


TO BE CONTINUED!

*evil laughter*



His avatar.


Now don't cheat and by digging through my archives to find the rest of the story...then what will you read while I'm away?!

We're off...(and I like parentheses!)

For a few days of Internet-less sun and fun. (did you hear that, NO INTERNET? it is practically CAMPING, cripes!) But the blog shall continue in my absence, as I've set up a fun little series of posts in advance (starting this afternoon), so stay tuned! Let's hope this trip goes better than the one to D.C...oops, I mean ATLANTA. Snort.



ps: she's on day 82! EIGHTY-TWO! (I told our pediatrician on day 78 and she said, "You jinxed yourself!" and started knocking on all the wood she could find, but thankfully, no jinx! (yeah, this boasting will probably bite me in the ass, I know, I just can't help it)) So keep her in your thoughts and prayers as it would be really nice to have a vacation uninterrupted by such a sad and painful thing.

If you're looking for somewhere to stay in Atlanta...

Might I suggest Concourse C of the Atlanta Airport?

The crown jewel of the accommodations is attached seating without armrests, thereby allowing you to stretch across a few seat at a time while only minorly altering the curvature of your spine. Also, there is an all night Charley's where you can buy beer and cheese steaks. But I hope you don't want french fries (delicious, horrible for you, cheesy bacon fries, SIGH) because they run out a little too quickly for my liking (like before it was my turn to order). The line can be troublesome, too, I don't think it was ever smaller than 30 people during my DELIGHTFUL stay.

****

The CDF (and Tara, who I harassed at ungodly hours of the morning) was so amazing. They did offer to get me a cab and a hotel last night/this morning. I passed because I thought a few hours of sleep was just going to make me feel QUITE cranky (I can be a bit of a bear where sleep is concerned), and the added stress of leaving (not to mention I still couldn't have gotten my bag), made it seem like it wasn't worth it. Plus now I can cross "Sleep in an airport" off of my life experiences list.

****

If you stare at the "NEWS EXCHANGE" sign at an angle with bleary sleep-deprived eyes for an extended period of time, it morphs into "NEW SEX CHANGE" and it might make you wonder what exactly goes on behind that nighttime lock down gate.

****

There were countless flights that were canceled or missed. I was definitely not the only person who was stranded. The terminal was full last night, I had to walk around for 30 minutes or so to find an open section of seats to take my little 30 minutes catnap on. About 1/2 of the people I talked to today had spent the night in the airport, too. It sure was something.

****

It was really quite an interesting people watching experience. I think someone should do a study regarding the instant camaraderie created in even these very mildly stressful situations. People who wouldn't typically say anything to their fellow travelers are suddenly very nearly best friend material. There was never crankiness among travelers, but quite a few expletives dropped in the direction of the airlines. AirTran=ENEMY. Travelers=BROTHERS IN ARMS. Fascinating.

****

I'm home. I've showered. Brushed my teeth. Taken a nap. It was heavenly. I'm still really disappointed I couldn't make it there in time, but hopefully, there will be other opportunities like this one.

Limbo...

I left the house at 5 this evening for the airport.

I discovered my plane was delayed.

And delayed.

And delayed further.

I checked on my connecting flight.

Again.

And again.

Both flights were consistently being pushed further back. Atlanta was having some sort of inclement weather.

At last check, I would arrive in Atlanta at 12:47 and my connecting flight would leave at 1:48. I would arrive in D.C. at 3:30am.

I called my (ever so sweet and kind) contact at the National CDF office. And she was so kind and said it was up to me. 3:30 is pretty late and she would understand if I sat it out.

But I thought about the day ahead of me, the march from Union Square to the Capitol. Speaking at the rally. Meeting with legislators. Me! Meeting with legislators. And I decided to hop on the plane and take my chances. I figured I'd never regret giving it a shot, but if I had decided to stay home, I would have always wondered what it would have been like.

We finally boarded the plane, at about 9:45.

We arrived in Atlanta at 12:48.

I check connections. My plane was gone. The other flight to D.C. was canceled. No other flights through the airline were going to D.C. until 4pm tomorrow, which is technically TODAY as I type this.

So I'm sitting in an airport in Atlanta, blogging and waiting for my flight home to Houston in the morning. 2.5 hours down, 5 hours to go.

I still don't regret getting on that plane, because if I hadn't, I always would have wondered. But, am I ever bummed that I won't be in D.C. today raising my voice alongside so many others, all calling out for the same thing, healthcare for the children...your children...my children...ALL children, because the sound of those voices is going to be so very beautiful.

The schedule that ate my soul...

Today:
Finish math review and extra credit. Study for final.
Take KayTar to the pediatrician.

Thursday:
Take final.
Fly to Washington D.C.

Friday:
Meet with legislators and such in D.C.*

Saturday:
Fly home.
Unpack.
Do laundry.
Pack for family vacation.

Sunday:
Leave for family vacation.

Wednesday:
Get home from vacation.
Do laundry.
Pack for BlogHer.

Thursday:
Fly to San Francisco

Sunday:
Get home from San Francisco.
PASS OUT!


* Like how I sprung that on you? Sneaky. Yeah, tomorrow I'm headed to D.C. for some legislative visits and that sort of thing. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update soon, but with this schedule, who knows when!


ETA: Looks like I probably won't be going to D.C. this time around. Initially we didn't realize they really needed KayTar to come along, too, and we just can't make the schedule work with her added in. She's sick and due for an episode, and she can't handle a whirlwind trip up there and then turn around and go on vacation when we get back. It is too much for her little body. We're still waiting to hear final word, but it looks like we might be sitting this one out.

Ignore me. I'm going. Heh.

Not-exactly-normal

We've learned to take risks, but it doesn't mean the fear is gone.

KayTar has camp today, Day 76, and I am at a loss for the proper way to handle it.

She woke up so cranky. Cranky, but fine. Cranky can be a warning sign.

She seems to be a little congested. Illness sometimes coincides with episodes.

Or, she might be cranky because she woke up a little congested, and Day 76 will pass just like Day 75 or 74 or 73 or 72 or 71...

The difference is, today I drop her off at camp, roughly an hour away from home.

Do I use her slight head congestion as an excuse to keep her home? To keep watch over her? She's dying to go back to camp and we all know keeping her home would have nothing at all to do with her stuffy little head.

Do I drop her off and come home, like I do every other day? If so, it might take me an hour to get to her and another hour to get her back home...in that kind of pain, in the bright sun of the day, I can't imagine her having to wait that long for the quiet dark of her home, her sick seat, her bed.

Do I drop her off and busy myself for 5 hours on that side of town? What will I do? What if it doesn't happen today? Will I spend 5 hours out there every day this week, waiting for something to happen?

What about BubTar? Do I let him spend the day with my mom, so he isn't bored to tears if I stay out there? Do I try and plan something fun for us on that side of town, knowing it might get cut short? Do I let him choose? What about tomorrow? Or the next day?

By the time I post this, I'll have made my decisions, but I won't know until much later if the decisions I've made are the right ones. Here's hoping.


ETA: In case you are wondering, I let BubTar stay with my mom, I took KayTar to camp as usual, and I stayed on that side of town. I actually had a delightful day...spent time at the bookstore, went to see SATC at the movies, grabbed lunch at Whole Foods, and then picked up the kids. She did great. No problems at all! [insert large sigh of relief here] Now I just have to make decisions about tomorrow. Oh joy.

On the Fourth

Last night, we watched fireworks with our friends for the first time in four years. The last time we spent the Fourth together, BubTar was a pudgy little two year old and KayTar was just a tadpole in my tummy, making me endlessly miserable. And I do mean MISERABLE, the child wreaked havoc on my poor little body. That 4th of July weekend was wins the blue ribbon in the category of Most Miserable Three Day Time Period. I was taking both Phenergan and Zofran and STILL my stomach rebelled often and with great passion. I had acid reflux and my intestines were refusing to do their very important civic duty. My bladder decided it could only hold about a teaspoon at a time. It was pure, unadulterated misery. BubTar had a magnificent time, though. He was totally convinced the fireworks were just for him, in that innocent, wide-eyed toddler way. Regardless of how very, very miserable I happened to be, I always remember how pleased he was and I never regret making that weekend trip, because his joy and wonder made it worthwhile.

We haven't gone to see fireworks since, mostly because of KayTar. She was an infant the next year, and then the following year we had just discovered that things weren't exactly right with her. And last year, well, we were still kind of hiding from the episodes, afraid to do too much, to go too far from home, to induce too much excitement, to tempt fate by having fun. This year, finally, in so many ways we seem to have hit our stride, our abnormal sort of life melding into our own version of not-exactly-normal normalcy...we feel free to go and do and be, although we understand that in doing so we're taking the risk of having to rush back home, curtailing everyone's good time, to tend to a very sick KayTar. Sometimes the risk doesn't seem to be worth it and everyone ends up feeling worse than if we hadn't tried at all, like on BubTar's birthday when we had to leave the Children's Museum almost upon arrival, my poor little guy apologizing to his sick sister about things that he has no control over. But sometimes, like yesterday, we go out on Day 73, fully tempting fate, and we end up having a great time and somehow find ourselves in Day 74 without so much as a blip.

Last night as my friend L and I walked KayTar around the park, we laughed about just how terrible that weekend four years ago was and marveled at how that tiny little misery-inducing tadpole had grown and grown, challenging me all the way, and was now standing between us, holding our hands and laughing along with us. That is the beautiful thing about tradition, you can have one foot in the present and one foot in the past, watching them play out side by side. But when I looked down at my little dear, I not only saw the shadows of the last year we all celebrated together, but all those in between. I was reminded again of how having this little KayTar in our lives has irrevocably changed the make up of our family, and changed the way we see the world and move in it. Four years ago, this was just another simple holiday celebration, but yesterday it felt like so much more.

I wrote this yesterday, but forgot to hit "Publish" because I am a genius. And also? Today is Day 75. Hello there, New Record, nice to meet you.

Wordless Wednessday: The new baby

More Wordless Wednesdays...

Fancy talk

Last week, KayTar really wanted us to open her ladybug kite. We've had it for a while, but never taken it out for flying. In this part of the world, there are really only three weeks in the calendar year that are appropriate for kite flying. They generally happen in March, during the split second that resembles a typical spring elsewhere. We missed the window and now the kite stares at KayTar longingly, day after day, and KayTar fully believes that if we opened it in the house, the kite would unfurl its wings and soar around our ceiling. That is what kites do, after all. We tried explaining that it doesn't really work that way, kites have to be flown outdoors with a nice wind blowing, which we didn't have, and that the weather outside was really too warm for humans in any case. After the 500th time we had this conversation, it was clear we were at an impasse and finally had to hide the kite altogether.

She came up to me and said, "I'm finking of something....it's a diamond and it has a ladybug on it and it has a string and a bow and it goes FLY! FLY! FLYING! What is it?" I was instantly impressed, because that is pretty well thought out, knowledgeable speech even for a typical kid, I think...but for KayTar, whose entirely vocabulary consisted of clever little scripts a month or two ago, it was astounding. I almost posted about it here, but then I reconsidered. It was probably just a script I hadn't heard yet, something new she had memorized off of TV.

Then yesterday at nap time, there was a garbage truck making QUITE the ruckus outside. It was idling very loudly, the machinery was making growling sounds, and then they decided to honk the big horn repeatedly. KayTar called me in and said, "Do you hear that? Do you hear that BIIIIG bus?" And I told her, "No, its a garbage truck. It came to take everyone's garbage away." It continued to make noise and she said, "Do you hear that? I'm hearing something that says (idling noises) and (growling noises) and BEEP BEEP BEEP, and it takes the garbage away. What is it?" So I said, "A garbage truck!" And she said, "Yes! That's correct!"

I think that maybe, just maybe, she really is coming up with these little word games all on her own and it seems nearly impossible to me, this huge leap in her understanding and language usage. Skills always come to her in big bursts, so that she is nearly unrecognizable from her former self. I remember it now, I can still see the shadow of the KayTar-that-was right next to the KayTar-that-is...the awkward rote "conversations" we always had with her, the scripts she used to cover the gaps in her language and in her understanding...but in a few weeks, that shadow will dissipate and it will seem like it has always been this new way, that she has always been a kid fully capable of give and take conversations, of witty and intelligent statements, of making us laugh with her spontaneous observations about the world. The only proof of days gone by will be the words recorded in this place, the road map of our journey together, the mile markers stretching back as far as the eye can see, always reminding us that there was a time and place before this one, and that we had to go over mountains and through valleys to get to this solid and even ground.

Tomorrow,

My kids will be insured.


Tomorrow, KayTar will be able to restart therapies...

Occupational

Speech

Physical


Tomorrow, I will be able to make the appointments we've been waiting on...

Feeding clinic

Ophthalmologist

Orthopedist

Dentist

Audiologist


Tomorrow, if the kids get sick we won't have to worry about the cost of...

Office visits

Prescriptions


Tomorrow, I will finally be able to exhale.

Spectre

When I was a child, I had ghosts for friends. Although I was sure of it at the time, I've lost that sense of magic as I've grown, as we all tend to do, and now I'm left explaining it all away...childhood whimsy and nothing more. I wonder now, which is reality...the way I see it now, or the way I saw it then. It can't be both, can it?

There was an abandoned house across the street from the house I grew up in. The curtains in the upstairs windows would move of their own accord. Sometimes at night, I'd see a light or two dancing inside. Sometimes there were shadows that seemed to peer out the window...dark formed figures where their shouldn't have been anything. A perfect playground for an excitable imagination.

It was a girl who I first felt or saw or imagined. I can't remember her name now, but I knew it then. She wore clothes from another time. Her dress was red, always the same. She wore fancy shoes, too. Her family had died. All of them. Mother, father, brother, and a set of twins...a boy and a girl, toddlers. I knew their names, too. I knew them. I remember drawing pictures of their family. I always thought they were murdered, although I never knew for certain. Sometimes they would be near and then there would be this terrible feeling and they would be gone so quickly. I'd be left with a racing heart, the quiet suddenly pressing in on me. It was strange, like the monster that stole their lives was still chasing them, like they were forever tethered to the terrible thing that had happened, destined to be on the losing end of an eternal battle. When she would return there was always the weight of it between us, her sad and stoic silence and my quiet curiosity, the questions I wouldn't ask and she wouldn't want to answer if I did. The complexity of emotion leaves me wondering how much of it really could have been imagined at such a young age. But, of course it was imagined. It must have been.

I don't remember much about it all, I haven't thought of it in years and years. It is just another of the many things that fades into the background scenery of childhood, but I do remember the feelings...the peace of the kindly ghost friends, the terrible feeling that seemed to chase them away, the heavy silence when I would see them again. It all seems so distant and impossible to my grown up mind; glorified imaginary friends, a brilliant figment of my imagination. In retrospect, it is more than a bit unsettling, too. I mean, what kind of child has dead kids for imaginary friends? I suppose there was something a little beautiful about it, too, dead children who can laugh and play and dance among the living, still nestled with their siblings and parents...a second chance to enjoy what was taken from them much too soon. Maybe it was my childish way of reconciling the thought that children could die in the first place. I can't even remember how long they were around for now, but I remember wondering where they had gone when they left, wondering if that awful feeling had swallowed them up for good. Now I wonder if it was my own march toward adolescence that swallowed them up for good, the door slowly closing on the years of magic and imagination, of innocence and faith.

Today in the bookstore and I kept seeing the tip of a child's shoe on the ground in my peripheral vision while reading, like a child was standing just out of my line of sight, watching me. When I looked up from my book to check, I saw nothing. As I went back to reading, as soon as it slipped my mind, I would see it again. I had this odd feeling and then the strangest thought came to mind...my ghosts. Just like that I was a little child again, magic twinkling in my eyes. I laughed at myself, at that crazy kind of thought, wondering where in the world it could have come from. It has been more than a decade since I've thought about any of it. I shook my head and went back to reading. Seconds later I heard my name drawn out in the tiniest of whispers. I sat bolt upright in my chair and scanned the room...empty. Then I settled back into the chair with the book, smiling to myself that the ghosts of the past, whether real or imagined, still know where to find me.

In KayTar news...

I've been wanting to write lately. Thoughts spring to mind, but they are almost instantly replaced by things to do and places to be. I've mostly wanted to write about KayTar, where we are, where she is, because really and truly that's what I created this space to document and she's been quite amazing lately. So because she seems to be totally zonked from her camp experience today (the Zoomobile! Build-A-Bear-esque animal making! art time! play time!) and because I was able to do my homework while she was in camp, I find myself with maybe just enough time to eek out a post of some sort. I'm not really sure where to begin anymore. It seems like it has been months and miles since I've updated on her development. Let's go with categories.

Fine motor: She's always had a knack for fine motor...one of the only non-worrisome areas we have! She is still functioning at age level and is doing cute things like giving her hair style a bit of a kick with a small section of bangs. A couple days before I gave my speech, KayTar brought me her kiddie scissors and said, "Cut hair?" and I said, "No, only paper." And then I ran an errand that evening, came home, and Josh said, "KayTar left you a present on your desk." It was her hair. She decided the scissors were in fact useful for hair cutting and wanted to prove it I suppose.

Gross Motor: She still can't run. She can climb up very narrow staircases (like at the playground) as long as she can hold on with both hands and help pull herself up. She doesn't alternate legs and she can't do it free-handed or one-handed. She can't jump and clear both feet and land again, but she can jump from the side of the pool into the water. She has no fear when it comes to the water. She'll even free fall backwards into the pool. Unlike most people, she doesn't get that startle instinct where you sort of twitch and try to catch yourself...she just falls right back. But she knows she has to say "Check me!" and wait before she is allowed to do the backward falls. Her gait is still wide-based and she is a bit unsteady.

Verbal: This is the big one. She's gone from almost entirely scripted speech to almost entirely spontaneous speech. She still does some scripting, especially when it comes to pretend play. For example, she sat for a very long time the other day repeating, "First you squeeze the lemons, then you add the sugar. Not too much, just enough. Very refreshing." over and over and over and over (it is from Max and Ruby). But I can't even find the words for the way her speech has transformed. It is really amazing. After camp, she tells me about her day. I can ask her questions and she answers them ("What color was the snake?" "Brown." or "Which animal did you like the most?" "The bird." or "What is your frog's name?" "Topo."). She still can't really grasp the question, "Why?" and struggles with "Who?" at times, too. She knows that if a why-question is answered, the answer should start with "Because..." but she doesn't understand what is supposed to come next. Her speech isn't without its quirks and her understanding isn't without its gaps, but the size of her vocabulary is huge now and the way her understanding level and amount of spontaneous and purposeful speech have increased is miraculous.

Social-Emotional: Oh. my. goodness. The kid is SUCH an extrovert. From her timid, sensory overloaded start in life, I never would have imagined she'd turn into this kid...this never met a stranger, game for anything other than eating, loves the stage and give me that microphone kind of kid. At both her camps, EVERYONE knows KayTar. And everyone seems to love KayTar. I have people stop me all the time and say things like, "I wish she was in my class!" or "KayTar is such a joy to have around!" or "She's so enthusiastic!". As apprehensive as I was about sending her off on her own and her upcoming transition to Pre-K, I am 100% certain there will be no issues whatsoever. She cries on Saturday and Sunday morning when she finds out she isn't going to camp. She has made friends in her camps and knows their names. She has a little boyfriend. Last Friday during the final song at the recital, her little boyfriend grabbed her by the hands and started dancing around with her. It was adorable. She's really enjoying herself.

Eating: Okay, so this isn't normally a developmental category...but we aren't normal, are we? Eating. The one thing that never seems to change around here. When I look at her food charts from TWO YEARS AGO they are not any different from food charts from the present. Except maybe, she ate better at back then, 6 jars on an average day then, 4 jars on an EXCELLENT day now. Every day for lunch, I send her a bag of Sunchips and two jars of food. Most days she eats the Sunchips (or opens the bag, because it doesn't come back home) and on really, really good days, she eats 1 jar of food, too. She hasn't eaten anything (other than a handful of Cheez-Its) for the past two days (and Pediasure, always Pediasure...the nutritional liquid gold that is squeezed from our wallets thrice weekly). She also hasn't had an episode in 63 days (this is probably me jinxing myself) so she might be gearing up for that and it has caused the eating to stop again. Who knows. In summary, Pediasure good. Eating, who needs it?

So there you have it. The latest on KayTar.

Power surge

We had storms again last night and my machine was surged. My amazing husband was able to put my hard drive in his machine and get all the important stuff off, even though it originally looked hopeless. I always tell him I married him for the free tech support...and I'm only partly joking. The computer isn't working, though, so I'm borrowing the kids' laptop at the moment.

I've been a bad bloggy citizen lately. Between the ferrying children to camp, the 12 hours or so I'm in class per week (our professor likes to keep us a little late), and the assignments that follow...something has had to give and that something has been blogging. I've been hard pressed to keep up with my Bloglines and then even when I do get a chance to read, odds are I am pulled away before I get to type something in to your comment box. I have 3 more weeks of this class and then life should ease up a little, I hope...but then after a month of break, the fall semester starts and I'm taking Microbiology/Pathology and A&P II, so time might be in even shorter supply. I think I will at school every evening in the fall. I'm still here, though, reading when I can...commenting when I can...posting when I can...but just not in the ways I am used to. It is strange suddenly not knowing what is going on in your lives after reading about it day in and day out for so long. If I'm lucky, I've been playing catch up every few days or maybe just on the weekends, just catching your latest post...missing out on the others, not really knowing what I've missed out on. It isn't that I feel obligated to keep up, it is that I want to and simply haven't been able to lately. If only there were more hours in the day.



Me and BubTar on a lunch date.

Clearly, we can never become Amish.

Yesterday:

4:30: Storm. Power goes out.

4:31: BubTar asks, "Does the XBOX take electricity?"

4:33: BubTar asks, "Does the DVD player take electricity?"

4:34: BubTar asks, "What about the TV in your room, does THAT take electricity?"

4:35: BubTar asks, "And the XBOX 360? I guess that one takes electricity, too. Or maybe not?"

4:36: I suggested he go read some comics by window light, because they do not need electricity.

4:42: Whiiiiiiiiining.

4:43: Plug his portable DVD player into the battery back up system. 13 whole minutes without electricity. We are clearly not made of pioneer stock.

4:45: I do my homework by the light of the window. Later I realize I skipped over about 7 problems because I couldn't see that they were marked.

6:00: I leave for class. Josh takes the kids to his parents' house for dinner. Still no power.

10:00: I call from school, after my class is over. Josh says they are home, but there is still no power.

10:07: I call my parents, they have power and two spare rooms.

10:26: I get to our house, Josh and the kids are in the backyard, playing by campfire light.

10:30: I go in to pack up our stuff, by lantern.

11:00: We get to my parents' house and unload. KayTar tells my dad, "I need to get in my bed now. I need to sleep." Despite her ardent wish for sleep, the kids have to be bathed because they've been rolling around outside for hours.

11:30: KayTar and BubTar fall asleep. KayTar was so tired she fell asleep while a Franklin movie was on (to quiet them down from all the excitement). She never passes out like that.

Today:

6:30: I wake up. Coffee time. I am subjected to FOX News way before I'm ready for it.

7:00: BubTar wakes up AND wakes up KayTar. This is WAY too early for KayTar. WAY. TOO. EARLY.

8:15: We are all ready to go. Load in the car. Drive by our house and let the dog out.

8:35: Drop BubTar at VBS.

8:36: Drive to KayTar's camp.

9:20: Drop her off.

9:30: Do homework at Borders.

11:00: Drive my mom to fabric store downtown.

12:00 Browse vitamin section at Whole Foods.

12:30: KayTar's recital and luncheon.

2:00: KayTar passes out as soon as we get in the car. She's so tired I can't tell if she is going into an episode or is just deliriously tired at first. Verdict: Deliriously tired.

2:30 Pick up BubTar from my dad. He's clearly getting sick with the cold I've been nursing. Yay.

3:00 Get home. Sweet, sweet home. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Fashion Police

Yesterday I wore a t-shirt and a pair of track pants. KayTar and I had a conversation about it in the car.

K: What are you WEARING?

M: My clothes.

K: No. WHAT are you WEARING?

M: A shirt and pants.

K: No. WHAT are you WEARING?

M: A white shirt and black pants.

K: No. WHAT are you WEARING?

M: I don't know, KayTar. I'm wearing my clothes.

K: No. You wearing you PAJAMAS...hahahahaha!

Thanks kid. We can't watch What Not to Wear together anymore if you are just going to use it against me like this.

From the Fluff Files

Because I'm still too sick to actually THINK and WRITE, and because I find this entirely hilarious.



While on break last night, I watched part of this episode in class and I nearly choked trying to stifle my laughter so the entire class wouldn't turn and look at me. I'm sure the choking and convulsing with silent laughter was much less noticeable. Suuuure.

ETA: My Bloglines is being defective. If I haven't been around your place in a while, it is because my Bloglines isn't alerting me properly. Grrrr. I'm not sure what is going on, but I'll be trying to catch up to what I've been missing lately!

A list, because I am lazy.

1. Me. I'm sick. Yesterday I had nagging nausea all day, so much so that I took a pregnancy test...I'll save you the suspense, it was negative. Then I figured out I was nauseous because my sinuses were draining into my throat, making me feel all kinds of gaggy. I thought maybe it was just allergies, but today I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy head and that definitively sick feeling. So sick it is. Of course, it is. We are overdue or this really. And I started my summer mini last week, so of course I'm sick. 10+ hours of math a week, not to mention the assignments, is enough to make anyone sick. Have I mentioned I hate math? Because, I do.

2. Peanut Butter and Joshie. Oh man, does that kitty have personality. She is such fun! She is so cute when she "hunts". She curls her little tail up like a piggie's tail, a perfect little corkscrew, and pounces. Josh's allergies have been fine, even though the kitten is spending time in our common areas now. On Father's Day, I pointed out that he hadn't been sneezing at all, and lo and behold, an hour later his allergies were acting up...but we weren't even at home with the cat. Good try, Josh. So, they are adjusting well to each other, psychosomatic allergies aside.

3. KayTar and BubTar. They are BOTH in camps this week, so my schedule looks like this: Drive BubTar to camp by 9am. Drive KayTar across town to camp by 9:30am. Study at the bookstore until 11:30. Drive back across town to pick up BubTar by noon. Eat lunch. Drive BACK ACROSS TOWN to pick up KayTar at 2:30. Drive back across town to get home. (then I also have to drive to campus 3 nights a week) All this driving coincides perfectly with the oh-so-affordable gas prices. Sheesh. But they are both having fun, so it is worth it. KayTar asked to go to school Saturday and was sadly rebuffed, by Sunday she actually broke down into SOBS when we told her she couldn't go. She has such a good time there! This bodes well for preschool in the fall, I think. I was worried about her adjusting, but I think she'll handle it just fine!

KayTar's Butterflies: A little PSA

You might have noticed these adorable little bows that KayTar is always wearing.







I've gotten a few bloggy comments about them and tons of comments about them in day to day life. They are pretty adorable, right? They are also the ONLY bows that KayTar will keep in her hair...her wittle butterflies. Once she got her glasses, we had to figure something out because her hair was constantly in her eyes! I ordered these, hoping she would go for having beautiful butterflies (or a ladybug) in her hair and it totally worked. Just in case any of you are in the market for adorable little bows for your wee ones, I thought I'd point you in the right direction. We got them at Quinn's Bowtique. The owner is a friend of mine and she does spectacular work. They stay in great and even hold KayTar's thick hair. The prices are extremely reasonable, too. She does all kinds of specialty bows and custom orders, not only the butterflies, but because KayTar is especially fond of having butterflies in her hair, we sort of stick with that one. One of the butterflies even got to be in our big photo shoot!

Camp Recital

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

She has had such a great time in camp this week. I was very nervous about how she would handle it all, but it has been nonstop fun for her. Evidently she even has a boyfriend (the boy next to her), the teacher showed me photographic evidence of her mauling him with kisses. He is the Creative Director's son, so the staff is getting a kick out of their toddler-sized love affair. Since she's having such fun, I signed her up for three more sessions! Our little KayTar, growing up so fast.

(those are her crafts on the window!)

This is Peanut Butter.

She is our new kitten.

Saturday, after we got home from NYC and the boys got home from their camping adventure, I sent the boys out to pick up dinner that I had promised KayTar. When they got home, Josh said, "There is a tiny kitten under the car." So I went to check on it. It was so small and it looked pretty sickly and I couldn't leave it out in the wilderness of the suburbs, so I told Josh I would just keep it in the garage and go get some kitten food until we could get it to the vet and have it fixed up. Then we would let the vet adopt it out. Josh said fine, but we couldn't keep it. He has allergies. So I've been caring for it since Saturday, slowly falling in love with it and deciding that I couldn't adopt it out at all.

It become one of those things Josh and I both understood was going to happen. He knew I was keeping the cat. I knew I was keeping the cat. I just wasn't going to start the conversation. Tuesday I called vets to find an affordable option and yesterday morning BubTar and I took her in. Surprisingly, she just has the kitty strain of pink-eye! We were so worried it would be costly, but we ended up spending $10.95! She is only 5 weeks old, so she can't have her shots until next week, and then it will be two more weeks until she can have a flea treatment. We've got her moved into the house now, though, quarantined to the upstairs bathroom that has been heavily treated to prevent the spread of fleas. We also washed her in Lemon Joy dish soap and it killed a HUGE number of the little buggers. Since she is still too young for traditional flea treatments, we'll be using the Joy periodically to keep the numbers low.

Yesterday she finally perked up. After 5 days of begging her to like me, she is readily chasing me around and climbing into my lap. BubTar is in heaven. He said, "She is just so cute I can't stand it. I actually CANNOT stand it!" He's been spending lots of time with her since she moved into the house and begged to go to the vet yesterday. He hates errands, but he told me "I'll just be quiet and read my comics, Mom, deal?" So he came along, happily, and even got to help the vet check her out. I think he is the perfect age to bring another pet on board. I have a feeling they will be pretty good pals. He's already wanting to read her stories and can't wait until she is healthy enough to hang out in his room with him.

KayTar is a little too young and unpredictable to have around the kitten much, but she has a great love for cats and I'm sure she'll be pleased as punch to have her around, too. KayTar is actually responsible for the middle name. She was talking about Peanut and then said, "No, name is Peanut BUTTER." So Peanut Butter Tar, it is.

The Camp Report

KayTar is really having a great time at camp. Yesterday she told me that she:

Played a hand bell, then showed me how.
Played parachute, up and down. Then twirly whirlies.
Took turns.
Painted again. The letter L this time.
Did the monkey dance.
Ate her green beans, "so yummy!" and her "classic" chips (the chips are Lay's Classic, so she reads the bag and calls them "classic")

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be getting all this information from her! It wasn't long ago that we weren't getting any kind of feedback from her, so to be hear about her day straight from her and to be able to converse about it is AMAZING!

Here is a (hilarious) conversation we had yesterday:

Me: (I said something I can't remember now)
KayTar: No, TEACHER says that.
Me: Does your teacher have a name?
KayTar: Yes.
Me: What is your teacher's name?
KayTar: Volunteer!

The staff all wear shirts that say, you guessed it, "Volunteer"...and KayTar thinks it is EVERYONE'S name! That KayTar, she sure makes me laugh.

New York, New York

Wednesday:

I medicated KayTar at roughly 1pm and the car arrived to pick us up at 1:30. The flight wasn't until 4:30, so we had a good bit of time to entertain KayTar in the airport. She had a snack (yes, a SNACK!) and had my mom push her around the terminals quite a bit. The wait was just fine, KayTar only got mildly bent out of shape when she decided it was time to get on the plane and the airline didn't quite agree, but that was the most difficult she got.


On the plane, she had another snack, watched cartoons (I am ONLY flying JetBlue with her from now on, HEAVENLY!), and we sat at the bulkhead so she could kick until she dropped. She slept for about 3 hours on the flight, while I watched a marathon of Top Chef on my TV screen. She woke up shortly before we landed and was in an wonderful mood. From there, we picked up luggage and found the man holding our little sign "Kyla Tar". Car service is nice. We got to the hotel about 12am, settled in, ordered a pizza, and went to bed around 2 am...even KayTar. Little nightowl of mine.



Thursday:

We woke up, got ready, and packed for the hotel transfer. We were moving to the hotel where the other women were staying for the next two nights. They couldn't get our Wednesday night room there, because they were booked. KayTar was delighted to discover the "stage" in our room, which was actually just the fancy curtains.



Once we settled in, a friend met me and we went out to lunch. It was so good to see her!



My mom and KayTar ate in the room.



After lunch, we walked around Times Square and took KayTar to ToysRus and rode the ferris wheel.









This animatronic dinosaur scared KayTar half to death. She is still talking about it. A mosquito bit her yesterday and she yelled, "THE DINOSAUR IN NEW YORK CITY BITE ME!!!!" We told her it was a mosiquito bite and she said, very slowly to emphasize we were mistaken, "No. DI-NO-SAUR! New York City. BITE ME."



We walked around the Square, bought souvenirs, and then had dinner in the hotel that night.

Friday:

KayTar woke up at 5:30 having an asthma attack. Great way to start the day! She typically doesn't wake up until 9:30 our time, which is 10:30 in New York, so she woke up about 5 hours earlier than normal. It concerned me a bit, as it was shoot day, but it didn't phase her at all. We hopped in the car at 8:30 and headed to the studio. Once we were there, we got to meet the other women who are involved in the story and they were all so nice. We took turns getting hair and make up done and KayTar and my mom ran around and investigated all of the theme rooms they had. KayTar loved the psuedo-subway the best, but she talks about the Tiki Room the most in retrospect.









Like I said, we put in a 9 hour day, but a lot of that was down time. When we came in, the photographer set us in places on set...trying different positions and such...and eventually he decided the entire set needed fixing. This was the set before.





Here the photographer is telling KayTar that his three year old has hearing aids, too. See how they are both touching their ears?



But then he decided to take off the ceiling and cram the walls closer together, which took quite a long time really. About that time the catered lunch arrived, lots of fancy food, much too fancy for me actually. I stuck to the goat cheese and basil stuffed chicken breast, because it was the least fancy of the dishes. We all sat around and ate and talked. KayTar smashed a chocolate cookie into "rocks" and "dirt" and was very bust "building mountains" on the table. Once she tired of that, she got the photo editor and the fashion assistant to play several rounds of I Spy and Hide and Seek with her. She is in love with these girls.



Then she killed some more time watching DVDs with my mom.



And then she did more running around and entertaining. One thing I really noticed on this trip was how far her verbal skills have come recently. She said a few things that had people looking a little confused, but for the most time she was great at communicating and being funny...she is quite the character and she showed it off everywhere we went, especially the shoot.





Then we got back to the business of being beautiful and sitting very still. We spent at least 2 hours sitting and testing lights and positions and all sorts of things. I had no idea how much detail goes into one photo. It was impressive to watch. Everyone in a while we would see the make-up artist peer in at us appraisingly and then she would disappear and reappear with hands full or brushes and come for one of us. We started to expect it and say "Uh-oh, who is she coming for this time?" They let KayTar run around most of that time and once they sat her in there with me, she passed out pretty quickly. We let her sleep for the rest of the test shots, although the fashion lady came and relieved my arms for a while so I didn't fall over on the exam table. Once we woke her up the entire staff was behind the photog peeking at us and doing anything and everything to keep her going...and it worked! She just kept on trucking. The last three shots she started saying "Let me outta here!" But we got her through and that was the most "difficult" she was all day long. It was impressive for sure.

That night we had dinner in the hotel and an old family friend came to visit us. It was so nice seeing her again! Then Saturday we woke up, rode to the airport, and flew home.




New York was fun, but it sure was nice to get home to our boys.

My kids are [almost] insured!

Late this afternoon, the mailman dropped a packet in my mailbox. In the packet was a letter that said:

"The following person(s) are eligible to enroll in the Children's Health Insurance Program:

BubTar
KayTar"

We've been waiting on this news for a while. The CDF found a loophole and we exploited it and we've been in limbo waiting to find out if it would work. It was the last hope, honestly. If you are in the same situation we have been in and you'd like to know more about said loophole, feel free to email me, but I don't want to go into detail on the blog. Suffice it to say, the system wouldn't work for us, so we worked the system.

I have to pay the enrollment fee and send in one piece of paper and these kids of mine should be all set. I could not be happier...I mean, unless the system wasn't so broken that we had to find a deceptive back door, that might have made me happier. But I'm still ecstatic.

In other news, KayTar went to camp today. It was her first day away from me in years and she did excellently. And then? She told me about her day. She told me that she:

Put on costumes, an elephant, tiger, and dinosaur

Did "arting" meaning she painted black stripes on orange paper, tiger stripes, and her teacher asked if she was done and she WAS done

Played outside, a game involving throwing, a cone, and a ring

Singing, the monkey song and a song from the Jungle Book

Watched part of Toy Story

Played with all of those kids

She was so excited and she is ready to go back tomorrow.

It has been a most excellent day.

PS: I owe you all a thorough NYC report, but I am running on borrowed time lately. Tomorrow I hope I have the time to get it knocked out. It was a great trip.

This one will disappear soon...

When KayTar fell asleep on me while shooting, the photographer continued to take test shots and polaroids, and after it was all said and done I asked him for one of the polaroids he took while she was zonked out on me. What a keepsake! It even has his lighting notes on the back. It is a professional shot, just not finished product level. He was still playing with lighting at this point, so the photo in the magazine will probably look a good bit different. But regardles, here is a sneak preview that I am fairly certain I don't have permission to publish online, so it will disappear in a day or so.


POOF!

She was a star.

We are home, completely without incident. Flights, shoot, hotel stays, everything went perfectly.

The shoot was such a crazy experience.

KayTar rocked it. It was amazing. She woke up yesterday at 5:30 having an asthma attack, hours before she needed to wake up and a most unpleasant start to her day. We got to the shoot at 9am and put in a NINE HOUR DAY. And she was an angel. A perfect little angel. Everyone complimented her behavior and what a trooper she was. The professionals said that even the kids who do this for a living can't hang in like she did. She kept everyone entertained and even played several rounds of hide and seek with the magazine employees. At one point she passed out on me, on set, during the shoot (I have a professional photo of it that I'll share later), but we woke her up and everyone on set worked to keep her happy and entertained and she lasted for the entire shoot. It really was something.

More photos and details to come soon!

We made it..

And she did spectacularly. We even got compliments on her behavior. Of course, she was drugged and slept a good bit of the flight, and the remainder was spent watching cartoons, but it was a smashing success!

Today I met up with a friend for lunch and we saw some of the city. We took KayTar to Toys R Us to ride the ferris wheel. It was a pretty impressive store. KayTar was not a fan of the animatronic dinosaur, though. She keeps saying "I had a bad day and a BIG dinosaur RRRRRRAAAAARRRRRR!" Other than that, it has been really great. Our hotel is right in the middle of Times Square. Tonight I am having coffee with an old friend who lives in town, so that should be nice, too.

Tomorrow is the big shoot! It should be quite the experience. They dropped off a little swag bag for me tonight. Faaaancy.

My laptop is not cooperating with photo downloading right now, but there are plenty of photos coming. Hopefully I'll be able to upload them soon.

[insert adorable photo of KayTar here]

Details.

We fly out to New York tomorrow and return on Saturday. Originally, we were going to fly out on Thursday, but because of KayTar's habit of having episodes at the airport, thereby canceling our flights, they decided to fly us out a day early just in case. This means that poor Josh has to stay behind, because he couldn't get a second day off of work. Bummer. My mom is coming along to help with KayTar, because I just could not take the kid on a plane without extra hands. After the Arizona trip, I promised myself I would not be flying with her at all for a very long time, but this is a special circumstance.

They are covering our flights, taxis, hotel, and food. They are sending a car to my house to take us to the airport. We are staying at a hotel in Times Square. I'm going to have a stylist. HA! It is quite funny, isn't it? Like suddenly falling into a movie plot or an episode of Ugly Betty, perhaps.

I've spoken with KayTar's pediatrician and her neurologist and everyone recommends preemptively sedating her, loading her with her episode medications before we ever leave the house, hopefully slowing her system so that it isn't overwhelmed and thrown into an episode. The pediatrician also called in a prescription to the compounding pharmacy for a transdermal gel, so if she goes into an episode on the plane, we can give her something without having to go through the suppository thing with an audience.

I feel prepared in every tangible way, flights have been rearranged to accommodate her, we have a plan to prevent and subsequently treat an episode, the sedation should even make her behavior a bit easier to manage...but I am still worried. I will continue to be worried until we touch down in New York tomorrow and then I'll probably worry once again on Saturday before we board the plane. Of course, ideally all the preparation will turn it into a non-issue. Anytime you put this much worry into something, it immediately ceases to happen, just so you look a little foolish. So I'm hoping all the worrying is for naught, because look foolish is certainly better than the alternative...a vomiting, screaming, writhing child with altered consciousness on an airplane, when light, sound, and movement just makes everything so much worse for her.

Today I have to go pick up prescriptions and buy a Max and Ruby DVD and pack and do all manner of preparatory tasks, so I might not be visiting blogs until I'm back this weekend. Like I said, my mom is coming along and she doesn't know about the blog and so I may or may not be able to sneak in updates from New York, but I'm sure there will be lots of photos and stories to share when I get home.

If you have an genius entertainment strategies for kiddos on airplanes, leave them in the comments. Also, answer this question, if you were seated in front of a small, adorable child with developmental delays and she repeatedly kicked and/or pushed on your seat for a 6 hour flight, would it make you feel better if the mother offered to buy you one of those tiny bottles of liquor from the drink cart?

BSM: Sitting on a Rock

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***

Last week, for Julie's Hump Day Hmmm, I wrote a post in honor of a couple of amazing women we all know and love. And then Trees Flowers and Birds! turned around and nominated it for a Perfect Post this month. Everyone likes to get a Perfect Post nod, but I think that because it was a post I wrote with two other people in mind makes it even better. So, Mad and jen, this one is for you, too.



For more Perfect Posts, follow the link above!