Saturday, April 28, 2007

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Just like a miracle.

It feels like we've had at least a month of KayTar related drama, maybe even two. Nothing major, just enough to make me feel like I've had to be "on" all the time. This week has been amazing in comparison. Her fluid intake is astronomical. She is consistently meeting or exceeding her daily calories WITHOUT Pediasure. She is sleeping through the night without night vomiting. Okay, she is staying up until after 11pm, but she IS sleeping, and she isn't vomiting! I haven't had to bother the pediatrician for anything this week. She hasn't had an episode in 22 days. It is such a relief.

I know from history that life won't stay this way. She'll have an episode. She'll stop eating. She'll start vomiting. She'll refuse fluids. She'll stop peeing. All the progress we've made with her eating will be erased in the course of a week. And then we will start it all over again. It isn't pessimism. It is life. But the break we've had? Priceless. I can't remember the last time she was exceeding her calories or not drinking Pediasure every day. It is amazing. The longer we are able to do this, the better. When the episode finally does hit, she's going to have some nice reserves built up. So even though we fully realize we spend our days chasing our tails with her eating/drinking, it makes it worth it when we can get an edge on what is coming. It feels good.

I do find it a litte humorous that the things she struggles most with on a daily basis are the things most people don't think about. Sleeping, eating, drinking, pooping, peeing. We are talking basic. These are the things babies are born doing. She's two and it is an uphill battle every day. I always took these basic functions for granted, because they are inborn and necessary for life. You'd think hunger=eating, but what if you don't feel hunger? You'd think thirst=drinking, but what if the thought of drinking made you gag? You'd think that tired=sleep, but what if the feeling of your sinuses draining the tiniest bit induced gagging and vomiting? I can't blame her, if I felt things the way she does, I'm sure I'd be just as reluctant to meet those needs. And so we work our hardest to keep her at a healthy level without pushing her past where she can be comfortable. And weeks like this, everything just lines up. It is perfect. So perfect. The whole week has been one gigantic sigh of relief. We don't have weeks like this very often, but when we do it feels like a miracle.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

BubTar's Beginners Guide to Skating

BubTar received rollerskates for his birthday.

BubTar: Oh, its my dream that came true!

Me: You really wanted rollerskates?

BubTar: Well, no, but now I really do and I think I could have dreamed about wanting them!

And he received all the safety equipment that goes along with them, which he calls armor.

He is very sad he cannot wear his wrist guards to school, because "If I can't wear them to school, nobody will know how cool I am, Mom!" What a pity.

Without further ado, BubTar's Guide to Skating:

Find your footing.

Smile for the camera.





Decide holding onto Mom's hand isn't such a bad idea.

And repeat.

*For the record, he was on his feet every time I took a picture...but by the time it would flash, he was on the ground. I didn't just keep shooting as he flailed about. :) His second time out went much smoother, though!

Monday, April 23, 2007

The week that was...

I can't tell you how much I haven enjoyed the week of blogging for BubTar. It was nice to have a break from the norm and focus on my little man for a while. He's such an amazing and fun little guy. Life continued as normal...KayTar induced worrying, I took part in worrying, there was hand wringing, of course. Things are better, but I'll catch you up anyway.

She was sick, which you already know. Fever, vomiting, diarrhea, snotty face. She never did the complete refusal of fluid (yay!), although she did put the kibosh on food for a while, which we can totally live with. The vomit and diarrhea stopped on Wednesday night. I think the vomiting was just KayTar's reaction to the feeling of the drainage rather than a component of the actual virus, because in total she maybe threw up 3 times which is about average lately when healthy. Well, because of the lowered input and the increased output (diarrhea) I kept track of her diapers last week. During the week, largely I was just waiting for that next wet diaper to keep us from *whispering* the bad place. As soon as she wet, whenever that was, the clock was reset and we had 12 more hours to give her fluids, ect. Moving along, Saturday Josh had to work, so the kids and I went to the Children's Museum. (Yeah, I took them to the germiest place on Earth. *sigh* But we had fun!) When we got home, I rushed in to change KayTar's diaper because I knew it was about to burst. It had been 6.5 hour since she'd been changed. I pulled off her cute little jeans and found a completely dry diaper. Not even a driblet in there. Nothing. And I was so shocked. 6.5 hours! I'd peed twice in that time. So it caused me to look at her diapers for the week. And it was a trend. She had wet no more than 3 diapers per day (counting her overnight diaper) all week, somedays only 2. She had been going between 6-8 or even up to 10 hours without wetting...and when she did it was minimal at best, not the deluge you might expect after holding it for 10 hours. I hadn't realized it before, because we were living diaper to diaper...but when I looked at the the week as a whole it worried me. I sent the pediatrician a half-worried email, of course. But then Saturday night KayTar turned into a drinking fool and took down 32 ounces! That is insane for her, but wonderful. Wonderfully insane. Yesterday she was peeing like a champ...or rather, like a healthy child. The pediatrician offered to send us in for an outpatient chem7, but thankfully KayTar is back to good. Its nice to know that if this happens again, that is an option so I don't drive myself crazy with the wondering. Unfortunately, I think there is a good chance it might happen again the next time she is seems that illness, even a minor one like this virus, tend to really do a number on her.

Which brings us to number two, quite literally. Skip this paragraph if poo related topics make you queasy. We stopped KayTar's Miralax earlier in the week because of the diarrhea. I don't think laxative and diarrhea complement each other. We kept her off of it on Thursday, because we weren't sure if she was over it yet, and started her back on it on Friday. Saturday she had to go. But it was stuck. I consider myself fairly accomplished as a Fecal Midwife, but this was too much even for me. I thought her poor bummie was going to burst...or somehow I would have to rush her to the doctor with this lodged the way it was so she could have an episiotomy on the flip side. BubTar caught sight of the situation and put his boots on and ran to the door shouting "We have to take her to the doctor's NOW, Mom!" After five to ten minutes of she and I laboring together, I panicked. It wasn't budging. It was larger on the other side...there was no give. I called Josh at work and asked him to please help. He couldn't help over the phone, of course, so I hung up with him and paged the nurse. Between the time I paged and the time she returned the call, somehow things moved along. I have no idea how it happened, but it did. Her poor bummie was a bit worse for wear, though. It was very painful for her. I'm a bit perplexed as to how to prevent this from happening again. If we don't stop the Miralax, it will make the diarrhea much worse, and we don't need her losing extra fluid. But if we stop it altogether, we end up in a bad place. The minefield that is an illness with KayTar. *sigh*

I wasn't always this obsessive about my children's health, I promise. If you knew me in my other life, you might not recognize me. Tracking diapers and fluids was foreign to me. BubTar had ear infection after ear infection his two years, but it was never serious. He's his fair share of viruses and infections, too. His fever spiked to 105.7 once when he was about two, but that is as far as things ever went. We were calm, we handled things, and things were okay. He's never been in the hospital, not even the ER. He's never even been close to needing IV fluids. We've never had a situation with him that we couldn't handle in a normal manner. The adjustment from a healthy, typical child like BubTar to the wonder that is KayTar has been a bit rough. I spend a good bit of time feeling crazy and neurotic. I actually worry that I'm worrying unnecessarily, but at the same time I know that the things I worry about are actual possibilities. Finding that middle ground is tricky. We will find our groove at some point, I'll have enough experience under my belt to determine what the imminent threats are and what the mere possbilities are. I hope I get to a point where I worry less and know more, a point when everything doesn't feel like shaky ground. I imagine that place exists, and I hope we make it there some day. Maybe one day KayTar will outgrow some of these quirks. Thankfully, we have an amazing pediatrician who doesn't seem to mind walking me through these things...even though I feel awful for always having to bother her. We've really lucked out with finding someone great to help us care for KayTar. I can't imagine not having that support.

Tomorrow, or the next day, BubTar will teach you all how to rollerskate.

And a quick photo of KayTar, I know you've missed her sweet little face. :)

And because OTJ is too kind:
My site was nominated for Best Parenting Blog!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

BubTar: Age Four

I am so, so, so, so, so, so very tired. So I am afraid this will largely be pictures. (Why didn't anyone tell me how impossible it is to blog with a purpose for 5 days straight?)

Four was amazing and beautiful and fun and full of amazing moments of realizing what a big kid he was becoming.

He rode his first carnival ride.

He took swimming lessons. He took to the water like a fish. He could swim a bit on his own by the end of his first 2-week session.

We went to the beach for his first time. He likes the pool much more...the beach is too "dirty".

He started school.

First airplane ride.

First trip to Disneyworld.

He got a trampoline!

He learned to read, write, and figure out what Josh and I are spelling back and forth to each other. Its dangerous here lately!

He worked on his photography. Nice shot!

He got to bring home the class pet. Yes, it is a stuffed sheep. He had to read all of his blends to the sheep and count to 100.

He camped out for the first time!

He went to the zoo for the first time that he can remember. He went once before as a wee one.

And, he turned five.

We love you so, sweet boy.

BubTar: Age Three

BubTar discovered this new pink blob would one day be his partner in you see their shady little eyes? *lol*

He was the cutest floral engineer in history (floral engineer=flower girl, except you know, the anatomical difference).

He went fishing for the first time.

He went bald.

He climbed a tree.

He and KayTar joined a gang.

On his 4th birthday. He just HAD to wear his tuxedo. He was definitely the best dressed child in Chuck E Cheese.

As Joey says, "How YOU doin'?"

I will do my best to get to Age Four tonight, once I have the photo from the 5th birthday party. I cannot believe my baby is now 5 years old!