We've learned to take risks, but it doesn't mean the fear is gone.
KayTar has camp today, Day 76, and I am at a loss for the proper way to handle it.
She woke up so cranky. Cranky, but fine. Cranky can be a warning sign.
She seems to be a little congested. Illness sometimes coincides with episodes.
Or, she might be cranky because she woke up a little congested, and Day 76 will pass just like Day 75 or 74 or 73 or 72 or 71...
The difference is, today I drop her off at camp, roughly an hour away from home.
Do I use her slight head congestion as an excuse to keep her home? To keep watch over her? She's dying to go back to camp and we all know keeping her home would have nothing at all to do with her stuffy little head.
Do I drop her off and come home, like I do every other day? If so, it might take me an hour to get to her and another hour to get her back home...in that kind of pain, in the bright sun of the day, I can't imagine her having to wait that long for the quiet dark of her home, her sick seat, her bed.
Do I drop her off and busy myself for 5 hours on that side of town? What will I do? What if it doesn't happen today? Will I spend 5 hours out there every day this week, waiting for something to happen?
What about BubTar? Do I let him spend the day with my mom, so he isn't bored to tears if I stay out there? Do I try and plan something fun for us on that side of town, knowing it might get cut short? Do I let him choose? What about tomorrow? Or the next day?
By the time I post this, I'll have made my decisions, but I won't know until much later if the decisions I've made are the right ones. Here's hoping.
ETA: In case you are wondering, I let BubTar stay with my mom, I took KayTar to camp as usual, and I stayed on that side of town. I actually had a delightful day...spent time at the bookstore, went to see SATC at the movies, grabbed lunch at Whole Foods, and then picked up the kids. She did great. No problems at all! [insert large sigh of relief here] Now I just have to make decisions about tomorrow. Oh joy.