Wednesday, May 09, 2007

KayTar: The Empath

Lately, it seems KayTar has newly discovered that people outside of herself have emotions. It has come at a rather unfortunate time, because BubTar has been howling in tush-pain, or crying because of his throat or tummy or just from exhaustion with great frequency. KayTar takes this extremely seriously and immediately starts sobbing. Big fat wet tears slide down her sweet little cheeks as she is wracked with empathetic sobs. It is almost instantaneous. Then we have the fun task of settling BubTar in a hurried, hushing manner so KayTar doesn't end up vomiting from all that sadness. Once he has quieted, she quiets as well for the most part and she begins to check on him.
"Okay? Okay?" and she reaches over with her sweet little hand and pats him, usually on his back if she can reach. And then BubTar says "I'm okay, KayTar. Are you okay?" and she says "Okay." again. It is a heartmeltingly sweet exchange.

It doesn't only applies to BubTar, though. Let's say I stub my toe and start jumping around shouting "Oww! Dang! Agghhh!" I hear her sniffles start and they turn into full blown sobs if I don't stop nursing my wound and say "Okay. I'm okay, KayTar." and she will quickly come over and pat me and say "Okay? Okay?" And I reply, "I'm okay, KayTar. Are you okay?" and she says "Okay." again and all is well.

If Josh and I are quarreling over something insignificant, which we do often and in fun, (ie. I think that is actress so and so from that movie guest starring on this TV show. No it isn't, I know what actress so and so looks like, that isn't her. I really think it is her. No, it can't be. IMDB!) she begins to whine and we have to curtail our conversation and one of us does the Okay routine while the other continues to search IMDB. *lol*

It has been a sudden development. She woke up one day and her great big beating heart is suddenly outside her body and everyone around her has control over it. We didn't realize how sensitive she really was until she was watching Signing Time a couple days ago. The DVD she was watching was actually the first one we ever had and she has watched it hundreds of times without a problem. There is a song called "Part of Life" and the chorus goes:

When you're hurt, you always become better.
When you fall down, you always get back up.
When you cry, it never last forever.
I'll help you feel better, we help each other out.

The accompanying video segment is various shots of children playing, sometimes falling down or crying, as well as people comforting them. This did not sit well with KayTar. She started sobbing without warning and we could not figure out what was wrong. We tried comforting her, but it wasn't helping. And the minute the segment ended, she said "Okay? Okay?" and then we knew what had happened.

It is completely adorable and a wee bit sad to see her so worked up on the behalf of others. I know it is a new feeling for her, and she will probably get a better grasp on those feelings soon. In the meantime, there will be lots of Okaying done in our home.

In honor of making it through day 34 and through the beginning of day 35, I give you KayTar in all her cuteness.

Please excuse her poofy hair and the fact she has no pants on. This was an end of day video, after she had pulled out the ponytail atop her head and opted to wear her brother's shirt and no pants.

BubTar butt update: I asked the pediatrician about it. She said it is the worst shot she has ever received, and her nurse describes it as feeling like there is a baseball in your butt cheek. So sadly enough, he will just have to hobble around until it resolves itself. I will be hard pressed to ever convince him a shot is the easy route ever again. His fever is finally gone. When I checked on him in the night, he was covered in cold sweat, I'm presuming from a fever that had recently broken. That is good. He is staying home again today for butt recuperation (he can't sit in his seat at school or keep up with the kids in the line at the pace he is limping) and to make sure we aren't sending him back contagious.


Anonymous said...

Aw, that is so sweet! Although for everyone's sake I hope she learns to deal soon. Poor thing. Glad Bub is on the mend!

Anonymous said...

Oh, she is so cute...and there could be worse emotions than empathy:) Thanks for sharing!!!

Ben and Bennie said...

I have had MANY of those shots, my friend. I can't imagine what it might feel like in a young tush. For an older tush that has seen places it shouldn't it hurts like your doctor describes.

Beck said...

She is just the cutest little thing! And The Baby pretty much always has hair like that - see? All the cool babies do.

NotSoSage said...

Oh my (both to KayTar's gorgeousness and her empathy). It's so funny these things they go through, that seemingly come out of nowhere and yet obviously have some kind of developmental value. It's so sweet that she cares so much, but she's learning (as most of us do) that caring means that one can hurt so easily.

Not like walking around with a baseball in your butt, mind you. ;)

Girlplustwo said...

you are teaching her compassion, friend. it's a gigantic gift you are giving her.

her big smile is outrageous on that video, too.

Christine said...

Oh she is adorable! I make my son say all kinds of cute things, too, just so i can laugh at, well, the cuteness of it all! And her sweet little, caring heart.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing about Signing Time! My daughter Lucy bursts into tears during Baby Signing Time - during the song "Special To Me" - and she is 7.

My younger brother used to cry during "Baby Mine" in Dumbo.

I wonder if it is the music or the images she's sensitive to? Hmmmm

~aj~ said...

Talk about cute. KayTar is the definition of the cute. What a sweetheart!

This was such a sweet post. I know you don't want her to always be quite so sensitive (crying at a moment's notice), but compassion for others is such an amazing trait for her to have at such a young age. I hope she carries that loving spirit through her adult life as well. More people should be like KayTar!!!

Amy said...

I loved that video!! Katie is doing so awesome Kyla. I am so proud of her.

And poor Nathan. Julia just had strep too and it was horrible. Fever for days and days!! Probably good thing we didn't get the tush shot!

Kristin said...

You superstar! You've got Signing Time Rachel commenting on your blog!?!? I wish I knew the sign for "awesome".

Speaking of...that video is too "cuey". I love hearing her little voice. She is amazing, Kyla. And the empathy, that is great. That's an important developmental milestone and I know not all of our kiddos are even there yet. Easton's empathy doesn't involve tears but it's still so sweet to see him care when someone else is sad or hurting. Especially his baby brother so I appreciate the exchange between Bub and KayTar even more now.

LOL at the "IMDBing". We have to do that or Googling all the time around here to settle "arguments" like those.

Julie Pippert said...

So preciously sweet. Persie is in that stage, and worries deeply about anyone.

Tonight, while out, a lady coughed at the table behind us and she turned to ask, "Otay?"

Your KayTar will get up some healthy walls, but that big heart will keep on I know.

It is definitely the age. But also the mommy. :)

I hope that Baseball Bum goes away soon for poor Bub.

Can you rub any arnica cream on it? I don't know. It sure helps us sometimes.

Mad said...

Has she offered to kiss BubTar's butt better yet?

ewe are here said...

What a sweetheart! And she will learn to cope a little better soon...

But again, such a sweetie!

Anonymous said...

kids are just so amazing at what they pick up along the way...

- Jon
- Daddy Detective

Run ANC said...

I love the empathy of children. It gets me everytime, and I start crying. Can Kaytar come over and tell me it's going to be "okay"?