Friday, January 12, 2007

If you...

If you don't sleep all night, the baby will wake prematurely.

If the baby wakes prematurely, you will have to have two cups of coffee.

If you have two cups of coffee, the baby will fall asleep as soon as it hits your blood stream.

If the baby falls asleep when it hits your bloodstream, it will be time to pick your son up from PreK.

If it is time to pick up your son up from PreK, your mom will come over to watch the baby.

If your mom comes over to watch the baby, she will clean the dishes for your husband.

If she cleans dishes for your husband, you will pick her up lunch on your way home to say thank you.

If you pick up her up lunch on the way home to say thank you, she will have already eaten.

If she has already eaten, she will take the food with her and go home.

If she takes the food with her and goes home, the phone will ring.

If the phone rings, it will be the speech therapist.

If it is the speech therapist, she will ask to come early.

If she comes early, your son will be unable to control himself.

If your son is unable to control himself, you will ask him to lie in bed quietly.

If you ask him to lie in bed quietly, he will cry and cry.

If you hear him cry and cry, you will make him laugh with silliness and fetch his favorite book for him.

If you make him laugh with silliness and fetch his favorite book for him, he will snuggle in happily.

If he snuggles in happily, he will become quiet as a mouse.

If he becomes quiet as a mouse, you will check on him after therapy.

If you check on him after therapy, he will be sound asleep.

If he is sound asleep, you will want to take a nap.

If you want to take a nap, the baby will be wide awake.

If the baby is awake, you will drink 2 cups of coffee.

And repeat.


NotSoSage said...

So funny.

This looks like so much fun, do you mind if I give it a try?

I started to do it as a comment, but it got too long...

Kyla said...

Go for it! :)

Andrea said...

That's awesome. You're so creative. It reminded me of the book, If You Take A Mouse to the Movies.

This kind of thinking is in my brain all the time... like I just can't win. Waaaaa, I know.

Beck said...

If you give a mom a funny blog post, she will laugh and laugh. You're so clever, Kyla!

Anonymous said...

That was too funny. See..I just don't come up w/ things like that. I have to copy others. What does that say about me?! lol

Bea said...

You are brilliant, Kyla. And so is Beck. Now I just want to steal her comment.

ewe are here said...

Very clever. :-)

Anonymous said...

That was wonderful.

I love the I you give the Mouse a Cookie books, but this was even better.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kyla! Sis here, delurking. :) Your blog is wonderful. And this post is hilarious! I'll be back.

Kyla said...

Yay! Hi Sis! Its nice to see you over here. :)

Psycho Kitty said...

Ah, lordie, ain't it the truth?
Hope you're well, hon.