Busying things. Distracting things.
Things like cleaning KayTar's room, getting the pieces of KayTar's big bed out of the attic, cleaning them all, and then building her big girl bed, rearranging her room, and doing many loads of laundry.
Then Kyla feels very tired and has much less energy and focus for being sad.
I think it is call avoidance.
So that is what I did on Thursday. I know it seems counterintuitive to do the crib to bed switch when KayTar is so anxious, but that was actually our catalyst. We were all set to do it after Christmas, but she had physically NEEDED someone to drift to sleep every night this week and we reasoned that it only made sense to put her in a bed big enough for cuddles. And it has worked, MAN, has it ever worked.
The first night I laid with her from 9-10, Josh took 10-11, and I took the last shift of 11-11:20ish when she konked out. Yesterday, however, she went down for nap only getting out of bed three times. She didn't even need me to lay with her, she just went to sleep. She's been boycotting nap all week, so that was huge. Last night, she got out of bed only once before putting herself to sleep. She's slept through the night both nights as well.
Last night, she and I laid in her bed and read our own books for at least 45 minutes. She just laid next to me and read her book! She wasn't being goofy or trying to get my attention, we were just two people reading books together. In fact, if I would turn my head to look at her, she would nudge it back and say "Do reeenin! Books!" Of course, every couple minutes she would also say, "I wuuuv reeenin." or "I likes book!" But otherwise, it was all peace and quiet.
We're still not past all the doctoring anxiety, but I imagine that will take some time. Last night while reading, at one point, she scooted over against me and said, "Docdah. Go docdah. No waaaaaan to, MomMom." We have those moments every day, usually when we are getting in the car or getting ready for the day, but sometimes it comes quietly out of nowhere...the overflow of her fears tumbling out in to a hushed whisper. In those moments, I just hold her tight and wish all her fears away...and then life just goes on.