Saturday, August 26, 2006

Torture at the hands of Barnes and Noble

Today I've been jumping around the Mamalamadingdong blog tour and I REALLY want the book. I went to Barnes and Noble tonight to see if I could pick up a copy and while I was there, the Children with Disabilities section beckoned to me. I briefly read up on Autism Spectrum Disorders, and SPD. Some of KayTar's symptoms (is that the right term? it seems odd here) lean towards an ASD, like her word regression and her reluctancy to interact with strangers, and even family members outside of the four of us; but on the whole it doesn't seem to be a fit. She has several things in common with SPD, but in opposing types. She is oversensitive to textures and foods, but she loves to be touched and cuddled. She loves playing in water, sand, and the mud, which negates the texture aversion from this perspective. On the undersensitive side, she loves to rub her blankey, she loves to be hugged and cuddled (by the right people); but she is very responsive if she is hurt or receives a shot. She does pull her own hair at times and hit herself on the head, which are also signs of undersensitivity. On the muscular front, she was always a floppy baby, she actually kept her head flopped back purposefully for the first 4-6 months of her life. She was the hardest baby to hold. She sits in the W positions much of the time. She isn't walking, BUT she doesn't appear to be clumsy and she has excellent fine motor skills and shows a strong preference for her right hand. And on and on it goes. In SPD, she has characteristics in just about every category on both sides of the fence. Though even if SPD fit perfectly, it wouldn't explain the language regression or the seizures.

Basically, I am torturing myself. I want to badly to understand what is going on, so we have a direction to go. I want to be able to help her be the best KayTar she can possibly be, and I hate that I have to wait so long before knowing how I can help her. The research isn't what is bothering me, it actually helps me feel useful and prepared, but the waiting is really killing me. We still have some scary possibilities out there, and waiting for the results is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I am ready to find the answers, whatever they may be.

1 comment:

Em said...

I've had a similar journey to undertake with my own daughter - now 3 years, 9 months. The waiting is the hardest part (we are still waiting for a diagnosis and I'm beginning to think we won't ever get one).