Thursday, September 17, 2009

Out of Order.

I should be at a meeting at the kids' school right now.

I should be working on an essay for Comp II right now.

I should be cleaning my house or conquering Mt. Laundry right now.

I should be making calls to a few of KayTar's physicians right now.

I'm not.

Yesterday was wild. I woke up in the morning and instead of getting myself half ready (shirt, bra, pants, socks and shoes), I had to get myself fully ready (add hair and makeup and coffee to go). When I dropped the kids off at school, I had to stay for a parent volunteer meeting, which lasted for about an hour and a half. By the time I got back to the house, I had about 45 minutes before it was time to pick KayTar up. I got VERY LITTLE accomplished. After picking KayTar up, we came home, ate lunch and played a bit and then it was time to go out to the medical center for KayTar's flu shot appointment. After that, we got back on this side of town JUST in time to pick BubTar up, we didn't even stop at home first. Then it was Homework with BubTar time, which lasts 1-2 hours every day, during which I stole 10 minutes (in 1-2 minute portions) to watch a fraction of an ER episode, just so I felt like I had done SOMETHING for myself. After homework time, Josh got home, we exchanged notes on the kids, I ate a croissant sandwich (delicious) and was out the door. I got home from school around 9 and my head was just about to pop off my shoulders.

I had run my rear off all day and in the end, felt like I had accomplished nothing. The house hadn't been tended to. My Comp II assignment hadn't been touched. I had discovered earlier in the day that my school email account was not working and thought, "Oh! That's why my professor hasn't emailed me in days, even though I sent her an urgent question about my assignment!" So I sent her another email, asking her to email me at my alternate account to answer my Very Urgent Question. She hasn't emailed me yet. She hasn't replied to my thread on the online class bulletin board that I posted a couple of days ago either. That isn't the ONLY important thing that I am waiting on (I'll spare you the various rants, most have to do with the calls I need to make to KayTar's physicians) and being stuck in limbo, without being able to take care of items on my to do list is adding an exponential amount of stress to my day. If the ball is in my court, then I can take care of it, make sure it happens, but when I'm depending on someone else to give me the information I need to proceed? I cannot relax until it becomes my responsibility again. I only have so much time to dedicate to these things and the longer I wait for an answer, the more of my (very small) windows of time slam shut.

This week has been off-kilter and it is making me anxious. Monday was fine, a regular day, much like my 24 Hours post. School work, drop off/pick up for the kids, laundry, straightening the house, going to class, volunteering at the hospital. Tuesday was much the same, except in the evening I had to squeeze in Open House at the kids' school, get to class just in time for a POP QUIZ and lab. Fun. You already heard about yesterday. So today, I am skipping the meeting at the kids' school and playing catch up, hoping to return to some sense of normalcy. Tomorrow morning I am volunteering at the school and I need today to get my bearings again. As soon as I publish this post, which I will be referring to as my mental health break* for the day, I will be off to furiously attack my to do list for the day, setting things right again.

*In all honesty, I have spent much of this "break" on the telephone and have worked out approximately 2 of 5 of the major issues, and my professor emailed me! HOORAY! Life can go on! I have also started the laundry and straightened the living room. I'm feeling better already.

PS: Everything was taken care of by noon, I had plenty of time yesterday to play and read with KayTar, and do a science experiment and play video games with BubTar (he had no homework), as well as time for the usual things. It ended up being a delightful day!


Allison said...

Even those of us who aren't living unimaginably busy lives have days when everything seems to get away from us. I know there isn't much slack to cut yourself, but try - tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, you'll be back in balance. You're an inspiration.

Christine said...

dear lord woman, you need a vacation.

i hear upstate NY is really nice in the fall, hint, hint. ;-p

and bubtar has 1-2 HOURS of homework? wow, he must be so tired after it is all said and done.

InTheFastLane said...

I have those days...sometimes those weeks. And the weekend just isn't long enough. For some reason, this current week is not one of them. I can't believe how much time I have had, but instead of making good use of it, I have hoarded it all for my relaxation. I guess that is needed too. I hope you find some soon.

flutter said...

babe, you need a nap

~aj~ said...

Wow, what a great turnaround of a day. I'm sorry you had so much anxiety over the other stuff, but like I mentioned in my blog post yesterday...didn't you just appreciate the down time you had with the kiddos THAT much more after having such a rough start?

And what is with 1-2 hours of homework a night?! Poor BubTar!

Sara said...

I'm glad for the happy ending!!
Can I just tell you... I'm so very impressed by people that go to college while they have kids too? When I was in college, I always wanted to tell that to the women that were older than me who would mention their kids... but didn't want to seem creepy. SO I'll tell you. You're awesome. And impressive. And wow!

Beck said...

It's so funny when bad days suddenly quietly become lovely days, isn't it?