I know that I've changed, though. I started this blog at a point of helplessness. I had lost control over everything. I had recently discovered that things weren't right with KayTar and had dropped everything to pursue answers. We knew little to nothing. Those first posts make me laugh a bit now...with my rosy cheeks and optimism, so sure answers were right around the bend. At the same time I'm sad for that girl...the one who had her hopes raised so many times, just to watch them fall again. She just didn't know. I know more now; much, much more than I'd ever thought possible. I have enough experience to know things don't always go how you'd like and answers are elusive. Questions sometimes are not answered. Hopes are sometimes dashed. But I've also how to navigate these situations, how to persevere, how to keep myself from drowning in it all. This blog has given me the space to honestly process my reactions and feelings through this tumultuous time in our lives. It has taught me to work through my emotions and continue on. It has become a record of our journey. It has been key in making this new life of ours something I can enjoy and find beauty in, every day. It has given me a community of beautiful, smart, intelligent, caring, supportive women (and men, Hi Bennie!) that have carried me though even the toughest times. I can't imagine not having you all with me, even if we are reduced to words on a screen. Words can be powerful, and you all know how to wield them with skill. You have been my friends, confidants, sounding boards, and cheerleaders. I've needed that this year.
One year later, we might still be waiting on those same answers, but it is so much easier waiting in such good company.
This is such a thoughtful post and as a new reader it tells me a lot about you.
Happy BlogDay to you. Glad you're home...
Happy BlogDay, Dearest! Your blog is a joy to read!
Happy Blogiversary. What a time capsule you have now.
I'm so glad this is helping you. It's crazy how much blogging helps so many of us.
Oh, Kyla. What a nice post with which to commemorate your BlogDay. And a Happy BlogDay to you.
You continue to impress us all with your astounding maturity and grace.
Happy blogday tooo youuuuu! Happy blog day to youuuu! WOOHOO!
Wow, 1 year. I had no idea you had been blogging so long.
I have found blogging to be great and very theraputic at times.
Happy BlogDay :)
Awww, sniff, sniff, what a sweet post.
Happy Blogday Kyla!
Happy BlogDay! And great pun.
Happy one year of blogging! Thanks for taking us on your beautiful journey with you. You are very special in so many ways.
I still remember my first year of blogging. A very wonderful time.
Aw honey, I'm only sorry it took me so long to meet you. I'm so glad this has been a place of help and healing for you. It has been at times for me, too, and it is so nice to be buoyed by the care of others when you need it. Hugs and smooches on your blogday.
Happy Blog Day.
I am so sorry you have to go through all you have with your beautiful little girl but am glad you feel the support of this community. My journey is similar in a number of ways and the support I have found is so much more than I ever imagined it could be.
Also, like you I have learned to stop waiting for answers. We should chat sometime about MRIs and how they are not always what they are cracked up to be! The most useful technology I have experienced in the last year (and like you that is A LOT) has been blogging.
Thanks for stopping by my own blog.
I'm so glad your daughter is home safe and sound.
we should be thanking you, dear Kyla.
it's been an honor all the way through. happy celebrations of community.
Happy BlogDay! I forgot mine. Whoops. I'm glad I joined in on reading yours. Yay!
so glad you're here.
Happy BlogDay Kyla =) Your blog gave me the courage to write my own story outloud. Sometimes, all you need is to see your reality in black and white.
Happy Anniversary! It is such a great reflection. THanks for sharing your JOURNEY!
Happy One Year Bloggiversary!
Happy blog day! I just hit my one year mark too, and am also amazed at how much of a true community I really feel a part of here.
And, I am still amazed at how it just seems to grow and grow too!!
Happy BlogDay to you!
Glad you're home and so glad you've been able to use this place during the last year -- it is a wonderful, supportive and caring community that wouldn't be the same without you.
oh kyla! happy bloggy birthday to you!!!!!!! a whole year? wow, girl just wow.
and i just got caught up right now on your posts. the hospital stay seemed so huge and eventful, and i am so glad it went ok. (except for the vomit!).
glad you're home.
happy blogday, I'm so glad we found each other :)
Aw, I'm sorry I missed it as - guess what? - I started exactly one week to the day after you! And your blogiversary is my birthday. Funny!
It's been amazing to get to know you here and IRL. Thank you for sharing your stories, your insight, your heart.
Looking forward to another year!
Hope you have a happy happy blogday:)
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