Saturday, December 20, 2008

Scariest moment of my life...

In less than 160 characters, via Twitter:

K couldn't catch her breath in the car, started vomiting, turning splotchy. I almost had a heart attack. OMG.

Slightly wordier version:

Josh's car broke down on Thursday. We had to have it towed to the car shop and yesterday it was ready to be picked up. KayTar is still quite sick and I had spent the day tracking her ins and outs (there were no outs to track, she went over 24 hours without peeing), giving her feeds that she vomited back up, and trying to control her cough so she could breathe. Honestly, I was a little weary of it all. The infinite sickness, and the perpetual worries about her intake and her lack of urine, and the wheezing and coughing and vomiting and fever. Regardless of the illness, we took Josh to the shop to pick up the car. I dropped him off and the kids and I headed back home.

KayTar had been coughing the entire way there, horrible gasping coughs, one after another, after another, after another. On the way home it was the same, and then, it wasn't. I'm not even sure at this point what order things happened in. I just know there was coughing, vomiting, NOT BREATHING, and the next thing I knew she was turning colors in my rearview mirror. My baby, splotchy and not breathing. I pulled over across a couple of lanes of traffic and just as I stopped, she caught her breath. Then I caught mine. We were less than a minute from home, so I kept driving. I got stuck at one of those left hand turns without a protected signal, so I ran it when it turned red. I figured the cop would be lenient if I told him my kid had stopped breathing. The rest of the way home she was gagging and sputtering, but breathing. We made it home safely and she didn't have another incident like that one.

I've never been scared like that. There have been many scary moments, terrible episodes, even insane lip swelling from an allergic reaction just this week, but none of it measures up to looking in that rearview mirror and seeing my baby suffocating, even if it was only for an instant or two...because what if it hadn't only been for an instant?

Today we're headed back to the pediatrician to get her lungs listened to just to be on the safe side, and I'm definitely adding this to the list of experiences I'd never like to repeat. I was thankful for her stuffy, snoring little nose last night, because every time I stirred it reminded me that she was still there next to me, breathing in and out steadily, just like she always should.

17 comments:

Chaotic Joy said...

I have been thinking of you and stalking Twitter to see how your girl is doing. I am glad your night went OK. Please let us know how the doctor's visit goes. I can't even imagine your fright.

InTheFastLane said...

Thank God she is Ok. And i too hope it is an event never to be repeated. Mother's hearts are way more fragile than they look.

slouching mom said...

Oof. I am sorry that you had to experience that.

Becca said...

How awful! I can't imagine how scary that must have been. I also hope it never happens again!

alejna said...

How awful. I hope you never have to experience anything like that again, either. I felt scared just reading about it after the fact. There are tears in my eyes now.

Kristin said...

What??? Oh Kyla...that is absolutely terrifying!!! How awful for EVERYONE!

~aj~ said...

Unfortunately, I know all too well that feeling of panic. My brother almost died from a choking incident when he was an infant while on my lap on the way to the ER. I was only 8 and it is still one of the most tramatic moments of my life.

I know it must have been hours before your heart rate returned to normal. And poor KayTar...how horrible must that have been for her?!

Praying extra hard for you guys today. I know you are ALL ready for her to be healthy once again. ((HUGS))

metro mama said...

Oh, Kyla. I can't even imagine.

Sheila @ Dr Cason.org said...

Oh Kyla- How scary that must have been. Is she okay now?

Oh, The Joys said...

AHHH!! I'm so sorry, K. What a scare!

painted maypole said...

oh, Kyla. terrifying.

flutter said...

Oh my God!

carrie said...

Oh, I've had a scare in the car too - when my oldest was a baby and rear-facing and yes, there is NOTHING you can do but pull over and check and then drive home and thank the powers that be that you didn't cause a major collision in the process and finally, finally catch your own breath. Yes, I remember well, 11 years later.

I wish you didn't have that experiece too. I really do.

Ben and Bennie said...

Oh my dear, I know. Now you know. Poor little Kaytar. I know exactly how exhausting this scenario is for her but also for the rest of the family. We're here if you need us.

kittenpie said...

OMG that is TERRIBLY scary! Big hugs to both of you, and I'm so glad it was okay. I do so hate listening to them struggle for something as simple and as vital as breath. (We are Germ Central; The Northern Outpost around here.)

Amy Y said...

OMG! That is so scary!!!
Glad she's Ok... sheesh.

Woman in a Window said...

Amen to that!

Those moments, those ones, let them always be far in the past. We'll only poke at 'em with a stick from time to time. Otherwise, let those moments sleep.