My son is a hairist. Yesterday, at pick up time, as all the children we're waiting outside for their parents, my son jumped another child. Why? You ask. Because "He did not have spiky hair." That is a direct quote. We have somehow raised a hairist. When his teacher put him in the car she said, "We had a hard day today, Mom. He had some trouble at play time, and he just jumped a child out here at pick-up...we had to pull him off of the other boy. He said it was 'Because his hair was not spiky.'" And then she gave me a questioning look. Maybe she was thinking, "What in the world are you teaching your child? This is a Christian school, we do not judge each other based on hairstyle. I don't know what you teach him at home, but we do not allow hairism here!"
I spoke with him about it on the way home, at first he made it sound like the child was mean to him, so I said "Was he being mean to you?" BubTar said "No." and lowered his head in the back seat. So I asked "Why did you jump him, BubTar?" He answered, very passionately, "Because! His hair WAS. NOT. SPIKY. He said he was Sharkboy, but his hair was not spiky and there can only be TWO Sharkboys. And HIS!HAIR!WAS!NOT!SPIKY!" So it was largely about the hair. When the teacher told me that was the reason, I was a bit skeptical...but it turns out she was right. I think it had more to do with the fact that BubTar didn't feel like sharing his Superhero identity of the day with another boy, especially one who didn't even have the proper hair for such an identity. At least he pays attention to details.
Sigh. We are having such a time with BubTar in school. I feel like he is continually misbehaving. It is something on an almost daily basis. We follow through at home. If he is in trouble at school, we don't disregard it at home, there are always consequences. BubTar is just BubTar. He is a performer. He is passionate. He is emotional. He is silly. He is busy. He lacks self-control. But he is also very intelligent. Every time I talk to his teacher, his behavior is lacking in some way, but his academics are wonderful. I don't know if his behavior is normal for his age level, or if HE is the problem child in the classroom. I hope that is not the case, but I can't be sure. We discuss appropriate school behavior. We reinforce the rules. We carry out punishments based on his school behavior as well as his home behavior. I feel that we are doing all that we should be to teach him the proper way to behave, but it only goes so far. In the end it comes down to his choices, and he is a 4 year old boy, and he does make the wrong choice quite often. I don't want him to make classroom life difficult on his teacher, but at the same time, he is only 4 and is bound to get into trouble, even if we are teaching him properly. Even though I understand this, I still hate that he is in trouble so much at school. I worry he is the problem child and we are the problem parents. I worry we should be doing something more to correct things.
I don't want my child to be the one who beats children up for not wearing the appropriate hairstyle for their superhero of choice. "Superman? You think you're Superman?!? You have no curl on your forehead!! *jumps on child and starts swinging wildly*
Oh no, that just won't do.