Saturday, November 10, 2007

When Kyla gets sad...

She DOES things.

Busying things. Distracting things.

Things like cleaning KayTar's room, getting the pieces of KayTar's big bed out of the attic, cleaning them all, and then building her big girl bed, rearranging her room, and doing many loads of laundry.

Then Kyla feels very tired and has much less energy and focus for being sad.

I think it is call avoidance.

So that is what I did on Thursday. I know it seems counterintuitive to do the crib to bed switch when KayTar is so anxious, but that was actually our catalyst. We were all set to do it after Christmas, but she had physically NEEDED someone to drift to sleep every night this week and we reasoned that it only made sense to put her in a bed big enough for cuddles. And it has worked, MAN, has it ever worked.

The first night I laid with her from 9-10, Josh took 10-11, and I took the last shift of 11-11:20ish when she konked out. Yesterday, however, she went down for nap only getting out of bed three times. She didn't even need me to lay with her, she just went to sleep. She's been boycotting nap all week, so that was huge. Last night, she got out of bed only once before putting herself to sleep. She's slept through the night both nights as well.







Her bed was my bed as a kiddo, it is an antique.






Last night, she and I laid in her bed and read our own books for at least 45 minutes. She just laid next to me and read her book! She wasn't being goofy or trying to get my attention, we were just two people reading books together. In fact, if I would turn my head to look at her, she would nudge it back and say "Do reeenin! Books!" Of course, every couple minutes she would also say, "I wuuuv reeenin." or "I likes book!" But otherwise, it was all peace and quiet.

We're still not past all the doctoring anxiety, but I imagine that will take some time. Last night while reading, at one point, she scooted over against me and said, "Docdah. Go docdah. No waaaaaan to, MomMom." We have those moments every day, usually when we are getting in the car or getting ready for the day, but sometimes it comes quietly out of nowhere...the overflow of her fears tumbling out in to a hushed whisper. In those moments, I just hold her tight and wish all her fears away...and then life just goes on.

29 comments:

slouching mom said...

I LOVE that bed! Beautiful!

And I'm so happy that it's working well for everyone.

Kristin said...

I love her room! I'm glad she's doing well in it!

Poor sweet Kaytar...she's too little for all this.

Becca said...

What a big girl! Glad to hear good news. Glad it's working out so well.

Hetha said...

I want to play in Kaytar's room! The bed is so cool and she looks so adorable all crashed out in her striped leggies.

Hetha said...

I want to play in Kaytar's room! I love the bed, and those little striped leggies in the bed are so sweet. Perhaps I'd start to feel better if I took on a project, you've got my wheels spinning.

InTheFastLane said...

I do the same thing when I have feelings that have no outlet.

She looks so sweets sleeping in her big girl bed.

Janet said...

I'm glad the transition went so smoothly. And reading side by side in bed? I would love that!

eeyorespage said...

She's a cutie! Her room looks so organized. I am jealous.

Julie Pippert said...

Beautiful bed...she looks very comfortable and happy in it. And good outlet. Want to come over here next? ;) I lost my handle on the house this past week.

I'm glad the sleeping situation is going so well.

Julie
Using My Words

flutter said...

She is a tough little thing. Don't you want to come for a vacation at Aunt flutter's house? :)

Lisa b said...

What a sweetie. I hope the bed gives you more restfull nights. That is so lovely to be able to have her sleep in your old bed.

Beck said...

Good job, Kayla. Now come sort out our playroom (AGAIN! I HATE THAT ROOM!) and I'll make you guys cookies.
Kaytar is such a darling little thing.

motherbumper said...

I bet that bed was a real confidence booster. And the vision of you two side by side reading is beautiful. I wish you were feeling sad - I do that avoidance thing to... big sigh. I'm glad that the little gal has provided some much needed sunshine.

Aliki2006 said...

How amazingly wonderful that she has your bed now--and it's a beautiful bed, too!

Switching to big beds was always the perfect answer for us...

nomotherearth said...

Her room looks like a great place to hang out.

jen said...

what a great room, sister. and so even in your exhaustion, your grief, you do this.

grace.

Christine said...

What a sweet, sweet girl. "Do reenin'!" -- she kills me.

So happy the big girl bed is working out. And I love that picture of her splayed out.

Redneck Mommy said...

I love her bedroom!!!

Well done Momma!

Family Adventure said...

You sound like you had a really nice couple of days. Her room looks great - all organized, and with her fabulous new/old bed. Beautiful!

I love that you can lie in bed together and read each your own book.

You are doing all the right things, Kyla. I hope you don't spend all your energy questioning your decisions up until this point. You are a *wonderful* parent. You both are!

Hugs to you! Heidi

crazymumma said...

I clean when I am stressed as well. Kaytar. Stay strong littleone!

Junie's Blog said...

I wish I would clean when I'm stressed. Glad she likes her new bed!

something blue said...

That is a beautiful room for a beautiful girl!

I'm envious of your smooth transition. Buttercup has not taken to her big girl bed and now ends up in our bed every night.

cinnamon gurl said...

We're thinking of making the switch to a big bed for the same reason (well, of course, not exactly the same reason but so we can cuddle). I'll have to remember the taking shifts part. Glad it's gone so well...

Christine said...

it all looks so neat and pretty, kayla!

carrie said...

Congratulations on the exciting transition from crib to big-girl bed!

ps. I love "reenin'" too! :)

Mad Hatter said...

Hey, we have that same toy shelf. I just moved it into her room and got rid of the change table. Miss M also got her "grown up" girl bed last week: a double box spring and mattress on the floor to replace the toddler bed (converted from the crib).

Amy said...

That is awesome she is doing so well in her big girl bed! I just love it when as parents we think something is going to be so hard and then it goes so smoothly for the kids. Gotta love that!

And I just love that last pic of Kaytar. She looks so grown up. They definitley aren't babies anymore.

Sarah said...

You should see how clean and organized my house is since I learned that Jason's mom has cancer. Like you, that is the only time I get really stop thinking about things.

Love the bed, how great is it that she has something that was yours!

Magpie said...

The bed is lovely. My kid sleeps in my childhood bed too - wrought iron, though. Glad she transitioned so well.