In PT, KayTar had to stand on this thing called a wobble board, it was a wooden platform on top of a rounded rubber pillow of air that forced her to work VERY hard to maintain her balance. She would get up there and her legs would shake and her knees would buckle and she would grab onto her therapist for dear life. Lately, it seems like I'VE been on the wobble board. This semester has been stressful for me. I was chosen to be part of a STEM majors honor society at the end of last semester, which initially I thought was great. I was under the misconception that it was simply a scholarship program for impressive students (because that is all they tell you when applying!), but it turned out to be so much more than that. I had to sign up for an additional course, which was just one credit hour, and from there I found out that there were multiple mandatory events outside of class time. The society itself had something like 10 mandatory extracurricular events (the list just kept growing!) and the one hour course had several in addition to that. The class also required a lot of reading, online participation, and group work...it was my most demanding course and made Calculus look like a cakewalk. For a NORMAL undergraduate student, I can see the benefit of all of these things, but for me, especially THIS semester with the way things are with KayTar, it was impossible. A few weeks ago, I attempted to withdraw from the program, but my advisor said she was willing to compromise with me on certain things, so I tried to stick it out for the semester...but things just kept getting more complicated with KayTar and I just COULD NOT have that hanging over my head. So I finally officially withdrew last week and I feel so much better. I hate "quitting", but the truth is that if I had known about all of the hidden requirements when I applied, I NEVER would have applied. I am so careful about my schedule, because I know that there is a limit to what I can balance and I was even more careful this semester because this summer was rough for KayTar and we are seeing a lot of doctors and going through testing right now. This program tipped the scales in a dramatic way and withdrawing from it was the right call for me...and for us as a family. So, whew!
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about next semester. It has been a long time since Josh and I have really been hit by the uncertainty of raising a kiddo who has an undiagnosed, unpredictable disease, but this semester has really driven that point home once again. This summer was difficult, this semester has been difficult, and Josh and I are both concerned that next semester will be more of the same for her. We are thankful that her motility medication is helping and heartened by the good week she is having, but it seems like abdominal pain, headaches, dizziness, and other things are constantly lurking. We both hope this is just a flare up and we hope that she is on the upside of it now, but we can't say that with any certainty. Josh, who is extremely laid-back, brought up the possibility of home school last week, and he is NOT pro-home school. We're definitely not there yet, but the fact that he brought it up at all shows how uncertain things have been this year...how much our day to day with KayTar has shifted. As far as my school goes, if I had to decide right now, I'd say that it would probably be best for me to take next semester off or go back to evening classes for a while. When I decided to go to school full-time during the day, things were simpler with KayTar and it was an easier balance to maintain, but now everything is topsy-turvy again. School is important to me, but KayTar is my priority...she doesn't always need me, but I want to be there for her when she does. Luckily, I don't have to make any decisions right now...I just have to keep my head down and survive THIS semester (which in spite of all the extra stress, is going pretty well), because as my favorite Bible verse says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." And isn't that the truth!
13 comments:
You are an amazing woman! I love to read about all that your family is doing. You guys are great parents, and I really respect you for that. I hope that Kay-tar's health problems stabilize.
Did you have to take a withdraw on your transcript for the class?
keep up the good work!
Yup, had to take a W...worth it, though. And since I won't have to take it ever again, it doesn't matter much in the scheme of things.
I'm sorry they made you take a W. keep working hard!
Can you fight the "W" because they falsely advertised the class? I don't think that is fair, and if you paid for the class, you should get the money back. I don't care that's it's only one credit. You work too hard for that to go too waste.
I taught in the public schools from 1992-2009 (the last two I was in/out a lot due to my own multiple, severe, health issues (KT and I have many similarities) and I am PRO HOME SCHOOL. If it's done correctly, by a parent that can handle it, it could be a good solution for you as a family (no matter how smart a parent is, not everyone can do it well; I KNOW YOU COULD). I surprise myself when the words come out of my mouth (and my teacher friends too as we have seen what happens to children when it goes wrong and they would come back to us---WHOA). But, I can see it being beneficial to both KT and BT (not too mention you and Josh). You MAY have to go privately (depending on the state) for any services she's receiving. Again, it depends on the state; as some still have to provide those extras and you would have to bring her to the school when it's best for them. You will make the right decision if/when you have too. Just check out some HS BLOGS and see what some families are using. I know several that HS but use Christian based Curriculum. If you want me to go through my "HS BLOG FOLDER" and send you some BLOGS to read let me know. Sending good, healing, thoughts your way! Jodi
We're not anti-homeschool altogether, we've (especially Josh) just haven't even thought it was right for our kids. We know some friends who do it well and it works great for them!
This summer I checked into the K-12 online school program, but it doesn't start in our state until 3rd grade. It seemed like a solid (and pretty neat) option if we ever make the change. I also think we would probably try modified days or homebound w/going on campus for "specials", music, PE, ect before we went to straight HS. We're not there yet, but we definitely have thought about it now...just in case we ever need to move that direction in the future!
I'm sorry things have been so rough--things do have a way of coming in ups and downs, like a rollercoaster. This could be just a "needy" year medically more than most for KayTar, and sticking it out might get you over the lows and into a better, more repdictable place. I hope so. I know our issues are different, but last year was just awful for us with L., and we considered many drastic things, like quitting my job, homechooling, etc. it was one of the toughest years we've had yet. We did ride it out, and things are so much better this year (so far) and I'm glad we didn't do anything too drastic, given how well L. is doing in his new middle school.
Oops--that's me again Alissa!!
I'm so sorry this is such a tough year. Balancing a family with school is tricky under the best of circumstances. I hope she continues to improve!
It is really too bad they didn't give the full information on the course when you signed up! I am amazed at your ability to do school at the same time as taking care of both the kids (especially with KayTar's medical hulaballoo). Too bad about the "W," but it is good that you are able to withdraw and keep things in balance!
I know we've already talked about a lot of this, so I'll just give you a big pat on the back from afar and remind you that you're doing all you can, mama. Proud of you and Josh and the devotion you have for your kiddos. Really hope KayTar IS on the upswing of all of this. Have a great weekend!
Oh Kyla. I should come here more often. I mistakenly think I know what's going on with you through other social media but I was definitely wrong. I am certain you made the right decision withdrawing from the class. And I am certain you will make the right decision about next semester. I just wish you didn't have to make so many hard decisions.
I am amazed by the fact that you and Josh are able to accomplish so many things on top of raising two children and one with health issues. KayTar has come a long way, and I'm sure you and Josh and BubTar have come a long way too. I know it's difficult to figure out what the norm is for KayTar, especially when that norm changes from time to time, but you and Josh handle what looks like an impossible situation with such grace and strength, and I continue to pray for KayTar's healing. I know that with God ALL THINGS are possible.
As for homeschool, it may be more of a bugger than helpful. There are so many odd state requirements, atleast where I live, and often parents lose structure of their lesson plans because the parent and the child is at home. There are more distractions at home for both of you. With KayTar, it may work out a lot better, but if she's able to go to school, she should go. She LOVES school and she will benefit socially and structurally. The nurse and her teacher are informed of her needs and what to do in case of an emergency, and so far, they seem to be handling it well.
Sorry to hear about your class. I agree with Anonymous about fighting the withdraw on your transcript because the class was misrepresenting its intended purpose. My husband is part of the Honor Society and some sort of Math Honor Society, I can't remember what it's called, and he hasn't had to do anything but keep making those A's.
How is KayTar doing? I know you mentioned she was flirting with a respiratory disease.
Hope you're all doing well!
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