This weekend I worked my butt off studying for the organic midterm. I probably logged 24 hours worth of study time. Guess what? I FAILED. I haven't seen my grade yet, but based on the amount of guessing I did...I failed. It was like freaking GREEK. I just cannot get NMR spectroscopy to click and that was the majority of the test. I can look at an NMR spectra and determine the various groups, but organizing them into the correct molecule just isn't happening. I'm hoping the rest of the class did as poorly as they think they did (I didn't talk to a single person who thought they had passed, even the guy who loves this stuff and wants to work as a chemist.) and there will be a major curve...otherwise, I'm screwed.
I studied so much this weekend that I missed BubTar's double header baseball game. I had to keep KayTar home from her dance class. We missed the big fall festival at my school. The kids didn't get to have any friends over and we didn't do anything really. It was me and my books all weekend. Now it feels like wasted time. If I was going to fail the test, I might as well have enjoyed my weekend and my kids. I know, I know...it is important that I put the effort in and if I hadn't, I'd be kicking myself over that, too. Either way, it sucks.
I'm about 99% sure that I have an ulcer. Upper middle abdominal pain, below my ribs and above my belly button...it gets much worse when standing, so I think it is probably gastric and not duodenal. It does NOT feel good. Walking up to school today, the pain was climbing all the way up into my chest and radiating toward my back, too. It made it a bit hard to breathe. Not pleasant. I'm self-treating with Zegerid, which has helped with previous ulcers, but if it doesn't help quickly, I predict a trip to student health services in my near future.
Today was supposed to be KayTar's field trip to the farm, but we had to miss it because she has been sick. Yesterday she seemed like she was on the upswing and her fever broke in the morning, but she vomited before bed, so we decided not to push it. I feel bad about it now, because she's done great today and I think she could have gone and been just fine, especially since I was going to tag along. Bummer.
The only bright spot in this bleak, guilt-infested, grump of a post is that I got my midterm grades back for history and music and I got a 102 and 103 respectively. My history professor gave me a lot of wonderful comments on my essay, too. At least I'm competent at SOMETHING, right?