We've learned to take risks, but it doesn't mean the fear is gone.
KayTar has camp today, Day 76, and I am at a loss for the proper way to handle it.
She woke up so cranky. Cranky, but fine. Cranky can be a warning sign.
She seems to be a little congested. Illness sometimes coincides with episodes.
Or, she might be cranky because she woke up a little congested, and Day 76 will pass just like Day 75 or 74 or 73 or 72 or 71...
The difference is, today I drop her off at camp, roughly an hour away from home.
Do I use her slight head congestion as an excuse to keep her home? To keep watch over her? She's dying to go back to camp and we all know keeping her home would have nothing at all to do with her stuffy little head.
Do I drop her off and come home, like I do every other day? If so, it might take me an hour to get to her and another hour to get her back home...in that kind of pain, in the bright sun of the day, I can't imagine her having to wait that long for the quiet dark of her home, her sick seat, her bed.
Do I drop her off and busy myself for 5 hours on that side of town? What will I do? What if it doesn't happen today? Will I spend 5 hours out there every day this week, waiting for something to happen?
What about BubTar? Do I let him spend the day with my mom, so he isn't bored to tears if I stay out there? Do I try and plan something fun for us on that side of town, knowing it might get cut short? Do I let him choose? What about tomorrow? Or the next day?
By the time I post this, I'll have made my decisions, but I won't know until much later if the decisions I've made are the right ones. Here's hoping.
ETA: In case you are wondering, I let BubTar stay with my mom, I took KayTar to camp as usual, and I stayed on that side of town. I actually had a delightful day...spent time at the bookstore, went to see SATC at the movies, grabbed lunch at Whole Foods, and then picked up the kids. She did great. No problems at all! [insert large sigh of relief here] Now I just have to make decisions about tomorrow. Oh joy.
28 comments:
ack, Kyla...i so hate this one part of parenthood, where we have to make choices without knowing what will happen, even though the choices may cause our kids pain.
i hope today goes smoothly and easily for KayTar, that it is just another day at camp for her. i know it will not be just another day at home for you...sigh. thinking of ya.
My fingers are crossed for both you and KayTar.
Thinking happy thoughts for you guys!
I don't envy the 'what to do, what to do' decision. It's completely understable, but I don't envy it.
I hope it goes smoothly, whatever you decide, and her continued 'no episode' record.
Yeah, sometimes parenthood is admitting that we have no clue what to do.
The classic parenting conundrum. We've all been there, even without the extraordinary circumstances Kay-tar presents. My heart goes out to you and I hope that Day 76 passes harmlessly. Hugs.
Oy, that's a tough, tough call. What did you decide?
Hard call but I'd let the instincts rule in this case otherwise I'd be afraid to fret if I did the opposite of what my gut said. Sooooo I hope we are welcoming day 77+.
I'm sure you made the right decision... Sometimes it sucks being a parent! :( Especially when (if you're like me) you don't feel grown up enough to be making decisions for other people yet!
Eek...I dunno...but I'm anxious to hear what you decided.
That's tough, K. I think though, that you may have to try to carry on, as much as it feels like holding your breath and waiting, because you can't put your whole life on hold, you know? That and, well, it's a show of faith, isn't it?
I hope today goes well for ya'll.
You know you'll do what is right - and it'll be okay.
But darn it, don't you wish someone would just for once take all the decision making away from us, or give us a little help at least? :)
I'm glad you and the kiddos did okay today. You guys are awesome and if you lived closer I would so buy you many a beer.
Oh the A/B algebraic math exam kind of day!
If A, then B, and what is C?
I'm glad it ended up a nice day with no incident.
you handled it well AND got some time for yourself. nicely done.
That must have been tough. How lucky you are, though, that you can leave BubTar with family and still make something of the morning--it sounds like it was a wonderful "get-away" for you!
Fingers crossed...we're waiting for one of those nasty episodes ourselves and dealing with many cranky mornings.
Good luck to both of you....Mary
This must be so rough on you, girl
You did exactly what I would have done - stayed close at hand. Glad to know it turned out okay.
I figured that's what you would do: making sure both kids have great days, and figuring out something for yourself in the spaces in between. I'm so glad it worked out.
Sounds like you made the right choice. One of many...
I came back for the update and what a great one it was. A wonderful day for Kaytar and you. Doesn't get much better than that. Hope it continues all week!
Isn't parenting so different than you could have imagined before having kids? The decisions and choices that you would never have guessed would be such a big deal are a very big deal. So glad you all had a great day!
I'm glad it was such a good morning for all of you. Your morning sounds just perfect. I'd love to have a day like that!
Hope KayTar's days of no episodes continue for a long time. I know you must feel like you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop when it gets this long between them.
HUGS, Kyla!
Yeah Kay Tar, Day 76 and counting...
There are times in this parenting journey, that I just want to go back to my home, the home where my mom and dad are, and say, 'You make the decisions again, please.'
It sounds like everything worked out great.
oh I was hoping you would just hang out and have a good day. Good for you
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