Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I don't even know what to title this one...

She's so sick.

She hasn't wet a diaper in 8 hours.

She's only taken in about 2 ounces of water today, without it immediately coming back up.

She slept from 3-7. I roused her a little to take her temperature, and she was having another episode when she woke up. She is still having another episode, right now. Another. The third in 5 days.

Part of the reason I write this blog is to process...to frame things in a positive light, even things that are not always easy. But this, this is simply exhausting and sad. I don't really know what else I can say about it.

****

I stepped away from the computer right there, to tend to KayTar. Since then, she's come out of the episode. It was about an hour and a half in duration, from the time she woke up to the time it ended. Her fever broke, too, maybe that was the key. I don't know. Guessing is simply that.

I've gotten her to take some fluids. A little.

Still no wet diapers. 9 hours.

I'm still in limbo, watchfully waiting to see if she'll need to go in for IV fluids tonight. Still exhausted. Still unable to find the words to convey exactly what any of this feels like or maybe just too tired to find the right words. Sad, heavy, exhausting...but more and less all at the same time. My girl and my heart inextricably tied tightly together, both tired, sick, and aching tonight.



It is past midnight, still no wet diapers...but she took in enough fluid to buy us a reprieve until morning. We can stay home, snug in our own beds tonight.

39 comments:

natalie said...

Kyla!!! How I wish I could do something to help right now--anything to help.

nomotherearth said...

Oh Kyla. All I can offer is a virtual hug. Hope it helps. Hang in there.

jeanie said...

lots and lots and lots of virtual hugs from me, too, honey.

Chaotic Joy said...

I'm so so sorry. There are no words. This just plain sucks. Praying. Now. For you.

Karen said...

oh kaytar, little love. and you, God, Kyla, I have not any idea what to say.

slouching mom said...

no words.

but all my love and all my strength are being sent your way.

Becca said...

Oh no! I am so sorry. I really hope you don't have to go to the ER. Poor little thing.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you tonight Kyla. I hope everything gets better. Yall have been through so much. It makes me so sad to read that yall are going through this.
I hope you both get peaceful rest tonight.
Love, Cori

lildb said...

Kyla, babe, maybe it won't make what you're going through any easier, but I must confess; seeing you was one of the highlights of SF, for me. Your energy is -- I wish it could be distilled, and I could carry some about in a wee talisman, and put it to my heart or my ear whenever I needed calm or peace or gentle, genuine beauty to speak to my soul.

That's you. And Kaytar couldn't be more blessed with a mommy such as that. I'm so glad you're her mommy. I'm so glad she's your little girl.

Sweet, sweet girl. Both of you.

Love. Deb

painted maypole said...

prayers for you, your beautiful girl, and your whole family....

Lori said...

I am new to your blog and to your story, but this hurts my heart so... That sweet little girl... that picture of her tired, worn out little body still looking so painfully sweet. I can't imagine what it must feel like for you mama... Heartbreaking. Frustrating. And oh, the helplessness of it all. I am so sorry and I will be checking back hoping to hear very soon that she is feeling much, much better.

Assertagirl said...

Oh Kyla, I'm sorry, the poor little trooper. I hope she's feeling better by morning. Get some rest.

xo

Lisa b said...

oh kyla. I know the feeling of monitoring to decide if an ER run is in the cards.
I am hoping you did not have to go.

cinnamon gurl said...

Oh Kyla. It's so hard to see our loved ones suffer. I hope she comes through without a trip to the ER.

Kristin said...

Poor baby girl...how did the night end up going? Did she pee?

I'm so sorry for her. I hate when they're sick and I don't even have the "episodes" on top of it all. :(

motherbumper said...

Oh I really really hope that no ER is needed. I wish there was something I could do to help. Hugs from the Bumps is the best I can do right now. xoxo

InTheFastLane said...

Is she sick? Or is it the episodes that are making her sick? Or the sickness that is causing the episodes? Either way, I am sending you and KayTar all the hugs I can.

Hetha said...

Sending you loves and hugs, hang in there mama love.

~aj~ said...

Praying for sweet Katie today. I hope this is all over very soon. What a horrible week. :(

Tierd said...

Sending you prayers and positive thoughts for a healthy girl ... no more sickness, no more episodes, and lots of wet diapers.

Chickenbells said...

Oh no...poor baby! I hope today is better. I hope that the fever breaking was the key...I hope...I hope she gets better soon.

Magpie said...

poor thing. i hope today is better.

mommamia said...

I'm so sorry. I hope she is better this morning.

kittenpie said...

OH, honey. I'm so sorry for you both that you have to endure this. My only light at the end here is that at least you have insurance now, in case she does need more care than you can give. Thank goodness, or it would, I would guess, be even more stressful than it already is, and this is more than enough. Hugs and well wishes to you both!

amanda said...

Oh Kyla, I am hoping that when you read this comment that Little Kay Tar will be on the mend and you will simply be tired but not tired and worried. (How's that for a runon sentence...) I am thinking of you and hoping that she is on the mend.

raehan said...

Thinking of you and KayTar, Kyla.

Big hug.

Janet said...

oh sweetie, oh no! thinking of you all.

liv said...

i'm so sorry, babe. this is agony. (hugs) love, you got it.

Amy Y said...

Oh, no :(
I'm so sorry...
Hope she's better soon, Mama!

Christine said...

Damn. Lots of hug and feeling better vibes from over here. Poor, poor baby.

Aliki2006 said...

((((Hugs)))) to you Kyla...I hope morning finds her all better, and brings an end to all this.

Is she sick with something, or coming down with something? The last time T. had back to back vomiting and episodes she had a fever and it ended up being strep.

I'll be thinking of you.

metro mama said...

Kyla...I don't know how you do it.

Big hugs.

Julie

carrie said...

Echoing what everyone has already said Kyla.

And of course, thinking of you all.

flutter said...

Oh baby girl.

ewe are here said...

I'm so sorry... I hope she bounces back soon

Liana said...

So sorry...hugs and prayers for you both...

womaninawindow said...

Poor little child. Popscicles? Freezies? That's about all that helps my kids with a fever. Hold on. She'll be better soon.

Avonlea said...

I'm hoping that your sweet little Kaytar is feeling much, much better today.

Katie said...

justed adding a thinking of you...