39. Yeah, I know.

Today, after taking the birthday boy out to his choice of lunch (Burger King? Seriously, BubTar?) we headed off to the Children's Museum for a day of fun. Turns out we didn't have any fun at all. KayTar went into an episode about 7 minutes after we arrived.

I felt like such an idiot, because when I woke up today "Episode" was not in my agenda nor in my mind at all. I was completely surprised by this one. I always kind of sense them coming, I know when to watch for them, I plan things close to home, I play it safe. I didn't do that today unfortunately.

It started out of the blue. She was fine one minute, walking and holding my hand, and then she said, "I need to carry you please." and I picked her up. She nuzzled into my neck and went limp. Even then it took me a minute to recognize what was happening, because it was so far from my mind today. I had to apologize to BubTar and tell him we had to leave immediately. On his birthday. Do you know what he said? "I'm sorry, KayTar. It's my fault we were at the museum, since it's my birthday."

*insert that shattering broken heart sound here*

I told him it wasn't his fault. KayTar just gets very sick sometimes and we have to stop what we're doing and get her home fast. He asked why and I told him her brain sort of malfunctions and it makes the rest of her body pretty sick. Then he said, "I'm sorry your brain malfunctions, KayTar." The boy is too sweet. Never mind it was ruining HIS special day, he was the one apologizing for things that have nothing to do with him.

We rushed home, and by rushed I mean spent over 30 minutes in traffic on the SAME STREET, and got home over an hour later. My mom came to the rescue and picked up the birthday boy and took him shopping at the toy store with his gift card. He bought 4 more Bionicles and finished building them all in the 3 hours he was at her house.

It has been a weird episode. No pain. No vomiting. No light sensitivity. Just the loss of her normal mental status and extreme lethargy. Oh, and the eyes. She's complaining about them and they have been moving like crazy. She'll only open her eyes for a few seconds at a time, but even when they are closed we can see her eyeballs swirling around back there. Here's the part that frightens me a bit, she's been lucid for an hour now, but she can't use her body. If I sit her up, she just slumps over. She can't sit, stand, crawl, none of those motor skills are intact. She can roll over, move her limbs, move her head, but nothing beyond that. It doesn't usually happen like this. Once she's back, she's BACK. I know that her history shows she always comes back from these, even if it takes a little longer than we'd like, but I can't help but worry that this time will be different because it IS different.

I'm supposed to be at school right now, taking my A&P exam, but instead I'm here because I can't bear to leave her like this. I sit close by and mark the time with the cycles of my worries and wonder when her little body will work again. I hope it is soon.


For the record, I really do think she'll come out of it all the way soon, she always does. It just makes me feel a little better to turn the worries into words, so I do.

ETA: She hasn't really come out of it, but she is asleep. She vomited not long ago and was able to sit up briefly for the bath, so that makes me feel better. I don't know if it is over or if she'll sleep for long, but I figured it was a good enough time to update. It has almost been 11 hours. I think that's the longest one yet. I hope she's better by morning. It has been really worrisome.

ETA again: It is morning and she seems to be totally back to herself. I might bring her in to the pediatrician for a quick neurological exam just to be sure everything is okay. This one really had me worrying.