This weekend was a girl's weekend out. We were going to watch a dance competition, sleep in, eat out, watch movies...all without husbands or children. Well, I didn't go. When it came down to it, I couldn't leave KayTar. She hasn't had an episode in a little over 2 weeks (HOORAY!) but I couldn't escape the worry that she might have one over the weekend. I don't doubt Josh's ability to handle the situation, I think either of us could do it in our sleep at this point, but I couldn't bear the thought of being hours away when she went through something like that. We aren't even sure what is happening during the episodes, they have changed once already, and I worried that if I left, something might change again and make them scarier or more dangerous, and I couldn't leave.
I was lectured for my decision, about how I need me time, about how I have to take care of myself, about how I need time away. Those things are true to a point...but the emotional stress of leaving her right now would far out weight any benefits. If I worry as much as I do when I am in such close proximity to her, imagine how that would increase given a few hundred miles? My head might spontaneously explode when we reached the city limits!
So instead, I have watched endless hours of TiVOed shows and episodes of Law and Order: SVU. This weekend has been the most restful one I've had in a long time. Friday night I was exhausted after our pediatrician visit, but Josh begged me into riding with him to a tool store...he said "Please! I really want to talk...I promise it will be fun." and I said "When did you turn into a woman?" but I went anyway. You know what? I did have fun. We got home and vegged out together, which was also nice. BubTar spent the afternoon and evening with his grandparents, so it was just the two of us and KayTar. Yesterday we left the house once, to pick PupTar up from being spayed...they rest of the day was spent lazing around. It has been glorious. I can't imagine that my trip out of town would have been any more restful than this. :)