Dean keeps getting farther and farther every time I hit refresh on the National Hurricane Center website. It appears Tuesday will go as planned. This weekend, I bought a few little things for KayTar...two Chinese food sized boxes of foam stickers, construction paper, bubbles. I looked all over for a good sticker book, like the one Beck has mentioned, but I came up empty handed. We already have two drawers full of art supplies, including playdoh. This evening I'm going to make one last trip for goodies and trashy celeb magazines. I like to read pure mindless crap while in high stress situations. I don't have the mind power for anything with substance. I've washed many loads of laundry, so the boys have plenty of clothes to wear while I'm gone. No, we do not live in a 1950's home where men cannot do laundry, it just so happens that with our chore division, I chose laundry, while Josh cooks, cleans the kitchen, and does the dishes. BubTar's school supplies have been purchased, labeled, and packed into his new school bag for next Monday, just in case we stay through Sunday. I'm going to go clean the bathrooms in a bit, fold towels, put away socks, just so things are all set while I'm gone. I'm calling the hospital in a bit to see what is and is not allowed in her room. I have to cancel therapies for the week, including her inaugural private speech therapy appointment. Bummer. I have to call and notify the specialists that the appointment has been moved up. I've got lists and lists of things to do, things to pack, things to ask, things to organize.
I still feel very nervous, because I have no idea what to expect. When the appointment was hypothetical and months away, it was easy to accept...but now, with it right here, tomorrow, it is a bit more worrisome. I feel like I have a good list of ways to entertain her, thanks in large part to you all; but I've never been through this before and therefore, I have no valid model to use to prepare myself. We've been hospitalized before, but she was sick and in a different part of the hospital, experiencing different things altogether. She's had EEGs [side note, I love the hopeful tone of this post...I totally misunderstood the difference between she wasn't having an active seizure during the EEG and not having them at all, poor little Kyla ;)] before, but never long term, so again, I can't really use that to prepare. The thought of trying to help her through an episode, in a hospital environment while hooked up to a machine doesn't seem too pleasant, but at the same time I know it is necessary. We don't take her to the ER when she has them, because we know it would just make them worse with the lights and noise of the hospital. It is workable, though, and the results it could yield would be priceless in understanding these events. She will have other tests, including the dreaded LP, which I'd rather not discuss. I'm hoping this doesn't reawaken her fear of doctors. It is so nice to have her cooperate through her exams these days. She even hugged the pediatrician last week. The previous appointment, she had screamed and said, "I cry!" repeatedly and the closest physical comfort the pediatrician could offer was a head pat. Our pediatrician cares a great deal for KayTar, and it was so nice to have KayTar reciprocate instead of working herself in to hysterics. It makes all of her various appointments run much smoother when she isn't screaming the entire time I try and speak with the doctors. I'd rather not revert to those days.
I am prepared for this, I think, but the anxiety comes from not know exactly what this stay holds and therefore I can't truly be prepared. I suppose I am a scout at heart, being prepared is a must, especially in situations where so much is uncontrollable. And so I make lists and organize, because it is the only way to still my anxious, fluttering heart.
PS: If you have anything else to add of the Great Toddler Entertainment Smörgåsbord 2007, please feel free to add it.