Jiggity-jig

Josh and I pulled into our driveway well past one in the morning on Saturday night. I just couldn't resist the magnetic pull of my children's sleeping bodies, even as Josh advised against it as we were both beyond exhausted. I crept into KayTar's room, stepping on every creaky floorboard in my haste to reach her. I stroked her blonde curls, placed my hand on her chest to feel it rise and fall with each breath she took, and slipped my other hand into her small fists. "Mommy is home, love. I couldn't wait to see you in the morning." I signed "I love you." and pressed it onto her forehead, as is our little ritual. I moved upstairs to BubTar's bedroom and scooped him into my arms to feel his warmth and breath in the sleepy scent of him. I jostled him just a bit, secretly hoping he would wake enough to register my arrival, but he continued to doze peacefully, smacking his rosebud lips. I brushed his hair back, kissed his rosy cheeks, and tucked him back into his covers. My heart ached to have them so close and still not fully be with them.

In the morning, BubTar climbed into our bed to watch cartoons just like every other morning. I don't think he even registered that I was gone and had returned. I was just there, as expected, like the sofa. You expect it to be there when it is time to sit down, so seeing it there isn't much of a shock. Every thing has its place, moms included. I asked him to snuggle up next to me, but he said, "But Mom, I can't see the TV from there!" When asked if he missed me, he replied, "Well, I don't know. What do you think?" He is so polite and careful not to offend that he could never bring himself to outright say that he did not, in fact, miss me...but his answer was telling in its own way. I am glad that he had too much fun to waste any time missing me, I think I would have felt worse to come home and hear he had really, truly missed me. KayTar's reaction was much the same. I was just home, life was as it should be. I was able to draw a better reaction out of her by playing using one of our special games, once it was done, she exclaimed "My mom!" and snuggled into my chest. Perhaps she thought I was a mirage at first. I was able to procure some excellent cuddle time after revealing myself as the True Mom. And life continued as if I'd never left.

KayTar's nervous system behaved itself for the duration, there was an increase in the involuntary eye movements, but that was the only noteworthy happening. It makes me feel good that I was able to go and nothing went awry. She's learned new things of course, she now says "Want (insert object of desire here)." instead of just naming the object repeatedly. She's added the CK sound onto "Duck." finally completing the word. She's got new dance moves (think of shaking invisible maracas). And she can finally push her baby dolls in the stroller. She never had enough balance to do so before. BubTar is BubTar. I brought him home a WebKinz from the trip and now I am "The best mom ever." but I don't really care for that title being earned through gifts, which we have discussed. He is thoroughly enjoying my swag as well. He's such a character, who knew glow-in-the-dark martini glasses would be perfect for morning milk?





It's good to be home.