Today when we left the house I was armed with a bottle of milk and Blue's Clues cued up on the iPod. Shrieking problem solved. I think the shrieking was more "I feel terrible like a two year old today!" than a real problem, thankfully. I think the car is such a problem because I am in the driver's seat and she is directly behind me. I cannot understand a large portion of what she tries to say to me, and I surely cannot see what she is signing to me. She looks at books and expects me to name objects when she asks, and I simply can't do it when I am the person driving. She is totally calm when Josh is driving and I can turn around and engage her. I hate that I can never intially dismiss something as simply being age-appropriate, or explain it in some other innocuous way. Everything is scrutinized. KayTar can't have a bad day without someone thinking it is a foreshadowing of things to come. We don't know what causes episodes, and we can't find a common element, so we look at everything and question it. We tuck away details so if things do take that course, we can say "A-ha! That was it!"
On the food front, she is indeed hurting. I spoke to the pediatrician and she said KayTar needs 1173 calories per day. She said her minimum energy expenditure is 674, that is what her body uses just to run properly. Anything she actually DOES is over and above that. We aren't even hitting the minimum to keep her body running on a daily basis. PediaSure here we come!! Here is the low down of what she needs:
13 g protein
35 oz fluid
That is insane. Today I've chased KayTar around with a bottle of milk. I've kept it full and cool, and haven't let it leave her side. Do you know how much she has drank? 12 ounces. That is it. She's having a "good" day food-wise, which means she has eaten a yogurt and two stage 2 jar foods...and her caloric intake is 505 including milk. 1173 is the impossible dream, people. It will take three PediaSures to get her up to that today. But the chances of her drinking three PediaSures today? About the same as Josh and I vacationing on Mars, without children. That is to say, its never going to happen. Ever. And because I tend to worry more than I should, I keep thinking, "If an illness blew through here and she caught it, we'd be in the ER in no time flat." I know that is negative, but again, it is realistic. If she comes down with something when she is already eating so poorly, we are sunk before we've even begun. It makes me want hole up in the house and Purell our hands every 2.5 seconds. I'm resisting that urge. We are actually going to a friend of KayTar's birthday celebration tomorrow. I'm sure the germs have RSVP'd already. These are toddlers after all. But I don't want her to miss out just because I'm slightly paranoid and one of my hobbies is worrying. It will be fun, so I'm tucking away the neuroses for the day tomorrow...and bringing the Purell.
We are on day twelve people...and it is good.
With a face like this? It has to be good.