tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post334916813818412793..comments2023-09-04T11:20:08.804-05:00Comments on Life with the 'Tars: Breathe in, breathe out, tell me all of your doubtsKylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-88199270931064159452008-01-15T23:30:00.000-06:002008-01-15T23:30:00.000-06:00I know I'm a little late to the party here, but he...I know I'm a little late to the party here, but hey, maybe you'll read it anyway. I am the mom to a beautiful 3.5 year old boy on the autism spectrum. PDD-NOS, to be exact. He is in a Developmental Delay preschool class in our district. And the issues you were discussing in the post were so close to home I decided to de-lurk. Prepare yourself- Assvice ahead!<BR/>The bottle...Do not wean from the bottle. One day she will decide she has had enough, and that will be okay. There are sooooo many kids on the autistic spectrum who are on the bottle till even age 5! I know people look at you funny and your extended family may whisper, but she needs the nutrition. And really, yes she does seem ASD to me, but it may be something else, and with these kids, change is not your friend. You simply have to do one thing at a time, and adding the stress of preschool on top of the stress of no bottles is a recipe for absolute disaster. As for the chewing- we take C's away and admonish "no chewing". We offer him an alternative, and if we give he back we remind him. Then if he persists we take it away and watch the meltdown ensue. It takes time for him to catch on, but he does. But he does occasionally still kill a nipple.<BR/>Preschool- I was terrified to send C to preschool, even for 3 hours a day. He was so rigid in his behavior, he always had to have things just so, he hates anyone to sing, he hated to go to sleep at night...And he was my baby! The night before his first day, I was sniffling to sleep when we had to make an emergency room run for croup. He started twice a week at the end of August, and I swear he's been sick every week. He cried every time for the first 2 months- I'm sure he didn't feel well, too- and today, he threw down his things and ran to do art with other kids. <BR/>It will take time. It will be hard. Make sure the teachers know how to spot an episode or the beginnings of one so they can call you. I wrote out a "getting to know C" sheet for his first, er, second day of school. Make sure you take her to visit the classs, maybe make a storybook about Kaytar going to school, what she will do, how you will pick her up. Visit the class alone so you get a sense of her daily schedule. <BR/>C's teachers don't bat an eye if he's sick, I email them. They are very understanding about building up the immunity. I sent bottles to school w/C for the first week, but he never needed them, too busy! so i stopped. He still takes three a day- he will only drink soy formula or ice water.<BR/>Being with the other kids and doing what they do was a much bigger motivator for my son than I realized. He is really thriving and I was really about to pull him out every week until X-mas break- overprotective, I guess.<BR/>Kaytar will probably bloom there, you just have to weather the transition. And don't worry about what anyone else thinks, you know her best!<BR/>Meri-mericaluv@yahoo.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-67912732563898869752008-01-15T22:11:00.000-06:002008-01-15T22:11:00.000-06:00I understand every one of your concerns. You are ...I understand every one of your concerns. You are an unbelievable mother and you will handle this. You will do what is right, what is necessary...and everyone will be fine. I did not say it would be easy, but it will all be good. :)<BR/><BR/>My hugs and prayers are with you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-54946305336768208862008-01-15T19:51:00.000-06:002008-01-15T19:51:00.000-06:00So.Score one for man brain as to finding this part...So.<BR/><BR/>Score one for man brain as to finding this particular "how will it work?"<BR/><BR/>Come back to this entry in a few days and write down the larger questions - anything that this eval/treatment team might be able to answer. <BR/><BR/>I forget, have we talked about "oral aversion" and a treatment plan for that ....? We've talked KayTar speech/lang stuff before, but I can't remember if it was that....dawn224https://www.blogger.com/profile/12261307900362127378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-89563800598366303172008-01-15T13:06:00.000-06:002008-01-15T13:06:00.000-06:00Change is hard, especially hard for your Kaytar. B...Change is hard, especially hard for your Kaytar. But change can also be very good. Praying that the transistions go smoother than you ever could have dreamed.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09869227309284462135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-8958041497116128672008-01-15T10:18:00.000-06:002008-01-15T10:18:00.000-06:00Oh, sweetie. I don't know what to say, except to h...Oh, sweetie. I don't know what to say, except to hope it all turns out much better than you fear. MUCH better, because it would be so good for you to get to do something for you, something that you want and that can move into the future. Hugs and good luck.kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-82897032660863535502008-01-14T20:23:00.000-06:002008-01-14T20:23:00.000-06:00I wish I had something to offer you...some words o...I wish I had something to offer you...some words of wisdom. The teacher in me says, "Jump in with two feed and let the cards fall. She WILL adjust." But I'm not KayTar's mother. I'm not the one that will face the complete struggle at home. Could you perhaps start slowly? One day, you attend the entire day with KayTar? The next day, only stay for one hour and then leave? Slowly wean her from you? What about taking her when there are no other children there to play with the teachers for a while? She might be resistant, but her teachers are used to children with special needs...they might have some tricks up their sleeves to help. Is there anyway to up her vitamins to help with the illness issue? Are there probiotics available (I know NOTHING about this...just wondering)? Or special vitamins? <BR/><BR/>I agree with everyone. You ARE amazing. You're fighting this battle with every part of your being and you fight with such grace and poise. We're behind you, one hundred percent. Keep us posted.nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10758393907259378213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-58717938463214128682008-01-14T18:49:00.000-06:002008-01-14T18:49:00.000-06:00((Kyla))It will be a challenge. I'm sorry about th...((Kyla))<BR/><BR/>It will be a challenge. I'm sorry about that. <BR/><BR/>You haven't failed her; you've done beautifully by her.<BR/><BR/>I have full faith in you. That aside? I'm here if you need me.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-10130800610838313102008-01-14T18:47:00.000-06:002008-01-14T18:47:00.000-06:00Kyla, This will be a rough time, no doubt about it...Kyla, <BR/>This will be a rough time, no doubt about it but we will all be here listening. As for the bottles, you might want to wait until she's had a chance to transition before you try phasing them out. I know that there are risks for her in doing this but with everything else that's going on it might be just too overwhelming for all of you.Madhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13416585771017767796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-12407279626335609732008-01-14T17:39:00.000-06:002008-01-14T17:39:00.000-06:00"We're very respectful of her boundaries and she t..."We're very respectful of her boundaries and she thrives...when she's forced into a situation outside of those boundaries, the results are not always so pleasant."<BR/><BR/>That is a glorious line that reveals just how well you know your child. You are her constant. If there is one thing life with Livie has taught me, it's that as long as I am still there (even if "there" changes), she can find a way to pull through. So will your Kaytar.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07682901624636941122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-89908645767052264222008-01-14T16:25:00.000-06:002008-01-14T16:25:00.000-06:00Look at that sweet little girl.I know that you'll ...Look at that sweet little girl.<BR/>I know that you'll help her through whatever needs to happen. It's hard and it's unfair, but I know you can do it.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953517447164263617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-69290540995415936122008-01-14T16:22:00.000-06:002008-01-14T16:22:00.000-06:00Hugs. Just hugs.Hugs. Just hugs.ewe are herehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13339650361453626546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-21698390581820319762008-01-14T13:38:00.000-06:002008-01-14T13:38:00.000-06:00She looks so precious sleeping there.Good luck to ...She looks so precious sleeping there.<BR/><BR/>Good luck to you in these days ahead - it really sounds like you'll need it.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02086167716210736774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-17772483518934255082008-01-14T12:39:00.000-06:002008-01-14T12:39:00.000-06:00You know, these changes are HUGE. But you will not...You know, these changes are HUGE. But you will not know unless you at least try, and you will kick yourself if you do not try.<BR/><BR/>That said. It will be hard for her, but children, as you know, are resilient.<BR/><BR/>And I somehow think that she will adjust to the new people more quickly WITHOUT you there. As hard as it is going to be, I applaud your leap into the unknown.<BR/><BR/>And I will ask about those things you mentioned over my way. And here is a health suggestion back at you. Have you tested for allergies? Could he ongoing illnesses be because of a depressed system?crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-5509209071624894072008-01-14T11:04:00.000-06:002008-01-14T11:04:00.000-06:00See how your eval goes- You may be able to get wra...See how your eval goes- You may be able to get wrap around services in the home. Fight for them. It makes an amazing difference in how the child reacts to a new person in their own environment. You can do this, remember to take care of you as well as your little ones. I will be thinking of you.amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02775497356720247278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-2848418399378882008-01-14T10:41:00.000-06:002008-01-14T10:41:00.000-06:00once, when things seemed so scary to me, you said ...once, when things seemed so scary to me, you said just what this title says: breathe.<BR/><BR/>you can do this, honey. breathe. and again. and again.<BR/><BR/>i don't have answers at all, and the fears are real and they are scary, but know this: you can and will do it. <BR/><BR/>you can.<BR/><BR/>xoxo<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://runningonempty-christine.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Running on empty</A>Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-53396903331438506232008-01-14T09:07:00.000-06:002008-01-14T09:07:00.000-06:00Wow Kyla...I don't even know what to say. It seems...Wow Kyla...I don't even know what to say. It seems like I know all the bits and pieces about KayTar, but when you lay it all out like that, it's overwhelming. No wonder you weren't able to sleep the other night!<BR/><BR/>My only advice is that you'll never know how things are going to go until you give it a try. Maybe KayTar will surprise everyone with some of these transitions? Maybe it will go better than you ever dreamed? I have no doubt it will be difficult for you and her, but you are both amazing and I can totally see both of you thriving.~aj~https://www.blogger.com/profile/01960895390340332054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-55273010654050475242008-01-14T08:48:00.000-06:002008-01-14T08:48:00.000-06:00I can feel the stress and anxiety in your words. ...I can feel the stress and anxiety in your words. Oh Kyla, I am praying everything will work out for all of you. That you will find a new routine and a new normal without too many problems. You are so brilliant and you *have* to do this, you will make a great nurse, you will figure it all out. Kisses to your 'tars.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02672442441423629410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-90630749395634802802008-01-14T08:40:00.000-06:002008-01-14T08:40:00.000-06:00Your life is so very complicated. I wish things w...Your life is so very complicated. I wish things were so much simpler for you.<BR/><BR/>Kaytar astounds you each day. Maybe her transition into this new routine will astound you as well.Jenny, the Bloggesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13718481135182612620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-44627600947394555822008-01-14T08:38:00.000-06:002008-01-14T08:38:00.000-06:00I am so sorry this is so hard. I'll be thinking a...I am so sorry this is so hard. I'll be thinking about you and hoping she surprises you and thrives in the new environment.Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05156777853779141522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-63545753942921205332008-01-14T07:34:00.000-06:002008-01-14T07:34:00.000-06:00Our son had major sleep issues...getting to sleep,...Our son had major sleep issues...getting to sleep, staying asleep, etc. These sleep issues had a profound impact on his ability to learn and function throughout the day. We used Melatonin for a long time (2mg as recommend by his neurologist- some neuros say as high as 10mg for autistic kids is acceptable). It helped him fall asleep at a reasonable time. With better sleep came better daytime function/coping and better learning.<BR/><BR/>When he started school we found that the routine tired him out more and we have had to rely on the Melatonin far less. GNC makes a "meltable" tab that you stick under the child's tongue. They are cherry flavored and almost seem a little like candy (not that I would EVER call it that to him). Just a thought. For me it was a godsend. The bedtime routine went from a 3 hour "project" to about 30 mins!<BR/><BR/>As for the vomiting, transitions, etc. Is this a special needs school she'll be attending, I assume? They should be well versed in handling that. They expect it. Good luck!JSmith5780https://www.blogger.com/profile/16954759123115546248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-23779515726511648232008-01-14T07:24:00.000-06:002008-01-14T07:24:00.000-06:00Wow, Kyla. Keeping you in my prayers--I wish I ha...Wow, Kyla. Keeping you in my prayers--I wish I had some good advice for you. Keep hanging in there.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14395850914692471354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-64244528219323693032008-01-14T03:33:00.000-06:002008-01-14T03:33:00.000-06:00Thinking of you and your little girl as you face t...Thinking of you and your little girl as you face this transition.<BR/><BR/>HeidiFamily Adventurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00093360285075029799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-72489536051348401222008-01-14T03:09:00.000-06:002008-01-14T03:09:00.000-06:00All you can do is try, right? And see what happen...All you can do is try, right? And see what happens? My thoughts will be with you.Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-2358514143809940862008-01-13T23:19:00.000-06:002008-01-13T23:19:00.000-06:00exactly what flutter said.exactly what flutter said.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33281653.post-35729048981433360902008-01-13T23:10:00.000-06:002008-01-13T23:10:00.000-06:00you know, there really isn't a time that I can rem...you know, there really isn't a time that I can remember since knowing you that I haven't been totally in awe of your grace.flutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.com