In my other life

I shied away from differences,
From wheelchairs,
From walkers,
From kids with bald heads.

I judged others
Too quickly,
Too harshly,
Too carelessly.

I withheld kindnesses too often;
Eye contact,
Smiles,
Spoken words.

I did not understand the pain that comes
With illness,
With questions,
With waiting.

I didn't know that a different life could be
Beautiful,
Miraculous,
Incandescent.

But I do now.

****

I've been given two wonderful bloggy awards, and I would be remiss not to acknowledge them.

Julie, the thoughtful, kind, intelligent blogger we all know and love, awarded this to me:



"This award should make you reflect on five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Five Bloggers who when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy... of knowing them and being blessed by them."

And said the following (way too generous) words to explain her choice,
"Kyla, because she is Grace personified, without being annoyingly so...she pulls it off and makes you love love love her wonderful human self."

You can't see me right now, but my face is crimson.

I can't have someone says such kind things about me and not pass it forward, so here, in turn, my five. I'm sure some of these will get the award many times over, but I can't discount them for that reason. I want the award to go from my heart to theirs, no matter how many duplicates there might be.

Jen, jen, jen. Sister. Dude. Have you seen this woman's heart? Her soul? Such beauty. Through and through. Generosity, kindness, concern, and care. Brave, true, and a little wild. She lives to love. She crosses her fingers for others in their moments of need. She changes the way I see the world, because of the way she lives in it.

Flutter. Are you reading her? You should. She is strong and vunerable. Beautiful, even when circumstances are not always. Intelligent and empathetic. And straight from her headline, dark and divine. 'Tis true. And her writing? It blows my mind.

Sin. Her photographs, her words...they stir something inside me. I remember driving through Chicago and thinking of her lens, imagining the way she would see it and capture it...immortalizing it with film. She truly has a gift...and she shares it with all of us.

Sage. In the early, early days of my blogging, the darker, more difficult times...times when we danced with some ugly possibilities for our sweet girl, Sage was there...in all her soulful beauty and grace with words of comfort. I didn't know her then. I hadn't visited her blog or met her in person to verify every ounce of what you see on screen really is her great big heart...but I could see it already. Every day since has just confirmed it. That Sage. She is amazing.

Katie. Sometimes you just need someone who understands you, even when you don't have the words to speak. Someone who knows sometimes life is just difficult, and it is okay to admit it can be shitty. Katie is that person. It is hard to believe we barely knew each other a few months ago. She is a miracle, that Mama. Those sweet babies of hers are so lucky to have her...as are we all.

****

And then there was also this award, from Something Blue, one of my amazing MBT friends. Don't they just have an embarrassment of riches up there?



“This award is for those bloggers who are cool people and awesome blog friends - those who bring tingly feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded, please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award.”

I'm going to attempt not to duplicate, so know that there are a few of you that aren't on the list only because I know you've already gotten this one recently.

Julie. Did I mention she drove into the big, bad city last week to visit us in the hospital? And I know how much she just looooooves driving into that city. There are a million other reasons why she's nice, but I'm running low on words here, people.

Joy. Because she's Joy. And a joy. And nice in every sense of the word.

Beck, or Rebecca, as she's known on her other blog. Because she is wise in all things crafty and gave me a plethora of ideas to keep the tiny heathen happy in the hospital last week. And she makes cookies and eats them for breakfast. And that's niiiiice.

Oh, The Joys. Because she's the Nominatrix, and there is nothing nicer than that.

Metro Mama. Because she is so nice. I've met her, I can vouch. She's wonderfully friendly and social and you instantly feel at ease with her.

Aliki2006. Because it is nice to find someone else who understands. So very nice.

That leaves me with one more, right?

It is for you. Yes, you. You who stopped by last week in the midst of our stress. You who left supportive comments, whether you know us or not. You who lift me up when I am down and hold my children in your thoughts. You, you, and you, right over there. I see you. I appreciate you. And the world should know how nice you are. Take the button, it is yours.